Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others think there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Populace believes that setting longer prison sentences it the most effective way to mitigate crime. I partly agree with this statement. Whoever does a crime will afraid of while doing because they may think of losing their years in prisons. However, it is not fair when they regret. This essay will discuss two perspectives.

I firmly agree that crime should not be forgiven and it should have the substantial punishment which is giving longer prision sentences and it has a strong impact on criminals. For instance, giving longer prison sentences will significantly lead to decrease crimes, because criminals will consider and scared of it. If not prevented, crimes would increase and can harm the society. The victims’ acquanties would not allow to criminals to live and punish them in the most cruel way which will somehow grow up crime steadily.

On the other hand, who harms someone and regret or wants to be forgiven peacefully should be acceptable. Because we should consider the rest of life. Fighting, revenge, and killing are the most meaningless stereotypes for me. To take an example, someone is regretful and apologizes hundred times, it would be meaningful to have mercy because the mankind acquires it.

Consequently, in order to reduce crime, it is the most relevant way to give longer prison years because it will be a good lesson for the future criminals. However, it is worth to mention that if criminals are genuinely upset and apologizes many times, that would be the best for the mankind to forgive.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

crime: 5

because: 5

criminals: 5

longer: 4

should: 4

would: 4

prison: 3

sentences: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a position (partial agreement), but the development of ideas is limited and lacks precision. While you identify two sides - the deterrent effect of long sentences and the concept of mercy - the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For example, the idea that criminals will be 'scared' is mentioned multiple times without exploring the underlying sociological or psychological reasons why this might or might not work. Additionally, some arguments, such as the mention of victims' acquaintances seeking revenge, stray slightly from the core task of discussing how to *reduce crime* through sentencing. To improve, try to expand on your main points with more specific examples or logical chains. Instead of repeating that criminals will be afraid, explain *how* the fear of long-term incarceration changes decision-making processes. Furthermore, ensure that your arguments directly relate to the effectiveness of crime reduction strategies. Strengthening the logical connection between your ideas and the prompt will help move your score into the higher bands.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often difficult to follow due to awkward phrasing and logical leaps. For example, the connection between victims' acquaintances and the increase in crime is not clearly explained. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', or 'Consequently') more accurately and ensure that each sentence logically leads to the next to build a clear argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate, which occasionally obscures the intended meaning. There are several instances of word choice errors (e.g., 'Populace believes' instead of 'Some people believe', 'meaningless stereotypes' instead of 'meaningless acts', and 'mankind acquires it' instead of 'mankind possesses it'). To improve, work on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and aim to use more precise academic vocabulary to express complex ideas. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the readability of the text. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure (e.g., 'Whoever does a crime will afraid of while doing'), and word forms. Many sentences are fragmented or incorrectly constructed. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, correct verb tenses, and the use of relative clauses to create more complex and accurate sentences.

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