Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe that the government should pay money for the libraries to make them free in every town, while others believe that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

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Currently,some individuals believe that public libraries should be free due to people usage as a public vital resource,while others think that there are no importance of public libraries and it is just waste of money.Although both sides have valid arguments,i am inclined towards the first opinion for certain reasons such as long-term investment,however public libraries will be worthless.

On the one hand,a possible explanation for the second argument is that being worthless of libraries.If people occur chance to use public libraries free,they will not value and even do not go to the libraries.This is because books,which is costs a lot and these phenomenon leads to easy access to them.For instance,If people search books such as Harry Potter,which is well-known and expensive in libraries and book shops will be free to use,there are no other individuals come in order to read this book.This suggest that easy access to public libraries lead to being worthless of books.However,books have to read by public,instead of just stand on the shelf.

Therefore,the first opinion is more persuasive because of long-term investment.Government can develop in any field including the quality of individuals life,transportation and economy,thanks to knowledge of next generation,which is play a key role in improvement of country.This is because educated people can help its country through invent new technology or discover news,which is considerably beneficial.To illustrate,according to the research by scientists at United Nations,75% of counties are subsiding money for knowledge of young individuals and increasing money to public libraries in order to make opportunities to them.As a result,this means that they aware educated students,which is have access to public libraries is really beneficial in development of countries.

To conclude,while this leads starting to be valuableness of libraries,i agree with first side because of long-terms investment to the improvement

Word Count: 295

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

public: 8

libraries: 8

individuals: 4

people: 4

because: 4

first: 3

access: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity in places. The first argument about libraries becoming worthless is not fully explained and the example is unclear. The second argument about long-term investment is more developed but still lacks specific, coherent support. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, provide more detailed and relevant examples, and work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Therefore' at the start of the second body paragraph does not logically follow from the previous paragraph). The argument in the first body paragraph is particularly hard to follow due to unclear reasoning and abrupt shifts. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical connectors, and ensuring each paragraph develops a single coherent idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'people usage', 'being worthless of libraries', 'subsiding money'). Some phrases are unnatural and hinder clarity. There is an attempt to use sophisticated words (e.g., 'phenomenon', 'considerably beneficial'), but they are not always used accurately. To improve, focus on using precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translations from your first language. Read widely to build a more accurate and flexible lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'books, which is costs'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'lead to being worthless'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. While there is some attempt to use complex sentences, they are often grammatically incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. Practice writing clear, accurate sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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Band 5+: Some people believe that the government should pay money for the libraries to make them free in every town, while others believe that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

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