Discussion

Band 4+: Some people say that every human being can create art (e.g. painting), others think only the people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People have different views as to weather, certain individuals in a opinion of Art gallery including painting, music, poetry can results by everyone, while others contend that by those professional ability. Therefore, ahead of my opinion, both views will be discussed further.

Examining the former opinion, art is precious gift given by God to human beings, so there are bound to be people here who can’t imagine their life without it. So they play with musical instruments since they born without going some tutors or without the advocate of musical teachers, for example there is a person from UZBEKISTAN he never go to musical teachers to play on drum, he says that I learn it with the help of my legs when I was just mid tens, so with assistment of his legs he becomes one of the best drummer in central Asia.

On the contrary, those in favor of the latter opinion have their own arguments. To begin with, humans with no talent but with the interest prefer to learn how to play in these given instruments. It is more challenging for them to learn it because those are not born with a talent. For example most of the popular artists in the world are becoming popular, professional not for their talent, but for their diligence.

To conclude and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against humans who born with a talent. However, I certainly favor the former opinion.

Word Count: 244

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

opinion: 5

their: 4

talent: 4

those: 3

there: 3

without: 3

musical: 3

learn: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a position, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The introduction is somewhat confusing and contains grammatical errors. The first body paragraph provides a specific example, but it is not well-integrated and the relevance is not fully explained. The second body paragraph is underdeveloped and the example is vague. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the discussion. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop ideas with more specific and relevant support, and clarify the position throughout. Also, proofread for grammatical accuracy and coherence. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. The main ideas are present, but the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from the introduction to the first body paragraph is abrupt, and the example about the drummer from Uzbekistan is not clearly linked to the point being made. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'firstly', 'in addition', 'on the other hand') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that logically follow.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are several inaccuracies and awkward choices that hinder clarity. For instance, 'weather' should be 'whether', 'in a opinion' should be 'in the opinion', and 'results by everyone' is unclear. The phrase 'precious gift given by God' is appropriate, but other expressions like 'assistment of his legs' are unnatural. To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and proofread to eliminate word choice errors. Expanding vocabulary related to art and ability would also enhance the response. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'he never go' should be 'he never went'), tense consistency (e.g., 'he says' vs. 'he said'), and article usage (e.g., 'a opinion' should be 'an opinion'). Sentence structures are often incomplete or run-on, and punctuation is frequently missing. To improve, practice writing with a focus on grammar accuracy, review basic tenses and articles, and consider using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) with correct punctuation.

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Band 4+: Some people say that every human being can create art (e.g. painting), others think only the people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Some people say that every human being can create art (e.g. painting), others think only the people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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