Discussion

Band 4+: Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be deal with by government while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some believe that current environmental problems are common issues and should be solved by the government, while others think that these problems can only be dealt with by individuals . In my opinion, there is an ongoing debate about solving environmental problems.

On the one hand, government can solve environmental problems by encouraging people do activities such as recycle waste and do not use too much water. These activities develop environment and cause positive effects. For example, if people recycle empty bottles, cans and other used materials, environment will become clean. Using too much water can damage the environment because next years water may disappear.

On the other hand, individuals should help government to deal with environmental problems because if people do not volunteer and save environment by supporting the government, environment may suffer. If people do not recycle garbage, use too much water and throw away garbage, environment may suffer because of climate change. Therefore, because of means of vehicle, smog happens everywhere. Although it can damage our environment, we should use environmentally friendly transport to support the environment.

Overall, I believe that government should be dealt with by the government. Aware individuals about environmental problem and encourage people to do volunteer work would be the best way to save our planet and develop our environment. However, people should do their one bit and protect the planet by causing effort.

Word Count: 231

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

environment: 8

government: 6

people: 6

environmental: 5

should: 5

problems: 4

water: 4

because: 4

individuals: 3

recycle: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The position is stated but not well-developed, and the ideas are repetitive and not fully supported. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear point with specific examples and logical reasoning. Also, clarify your opinion and provide a more structured conclusion that summarizes your view. Work on expanding your ideas and avoiding repetition. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. The introduction states the topic but does not clearly outline the two sides or your opinion. The body paragraphs present relevant points but lack clear topic sentences and logical development. For example, the second body paragraph shifts from individual responsibility to transportation without a clear connection. The conclusion is confusing and contains a contradictory statement ('government should be dealt with by the government'). To improve, use clear topic sentences, ensure each paragraph has a single main idea, and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the one hand', 'furthermore', 'however') to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'environment', 'problems', 'government') and informal or inaccurate word choices (e.g., 'do their one bit', 'causing effort'). There are attempts at using more sophisticated phrases (e.g., 'environmentally friendly transport'), but they are not always used accurately. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to environmental issues (e.g., 'sustainable development', 'carbon footprint', 'mitigation'), and use precise and formal language. Avoid informal expressions and ensure word choices are appropriate for the context. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement ('government can solve' vs. 'government can solve'), incorrect verb forms ('should be dealt with by the government' should be 'should deal with'), and awkward phrasing ('Aware individuals about environmental problem' should be 'Raising awareness among individuals about environmental problems'). There is also a lack of variety in sentence structures, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and review grammar rules for verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles. Proofread your work to eliminate basic errors.

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