Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: Some people think that the state should pay tertiary fees for students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Some people believe that the government should introduce free tertiary education for students. This essay will discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of free universities or collages.

There are many benefits towards free tuition in tertiary education like reducing student debts. Students will not have to pay back large amount of student loans. Secondly, the workforce development will improve. With more students graduating universities, businesses will have more qualified personal. It also provides an opportunity to study. This could give unprivileged students the chance to pursue a dream and get a degree. Lastly, the consumer can increase spending. Qualified people can get a bigger income which they will invest in property or have a richer lifestyle by spending more.

In the other hand, the disadvantage of free tertiary education is, students are less accountable. Some students will not take responsibility for their education because it is for free and they will get another opportunity if they fail. Secondly, it can be a taxpayer burden. The government will lift taxes paid by citizens to make up the funding needed to successfully operate the institutions. It can also cause overcrowding at institutions. More people will enter a course then what the collage or university can accommodate. Lastly, degrees can lose its value. Having a degree will not be an advantage in the job market because there would be an overload of people owning one.

In conclusion, this essay discussed the advantages such as lowering student debts and creating study opportunities, however factors like not taking accountability for your education and raising taxes can all be disadvantages when receiving free tertiary education.

Word Count: 269

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 6

students: 6

people: 4

tertiary: 4

student: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing the impact on workforce development, you could mention specific industries that would benefit. Also, ensure a balanced discussion by elaborating on both advantages and disadvantages with equal depth.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For example, in the body paragraphs, explicitly state the connection between the main point and the supporting examples.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately. For example, instead of 'bigger income,' you could use 'higher disposable income' or 'increased earning potential.' Also, be mindful of collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Focus on improving accuracy in areas such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. For example, 'personal' should be 'personnel,' and 'degrees can lose its value' should be 'degrees can lose their value.' Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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