Opinion

Band 4+: Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, students rely more on internet than their own knowledge. Even if it is really easy to use it it has a lot of bad consequences and we shouldn’t use it for education of people. I am fully agree with this statement since now there is a lot web sites allowing students to just copy home works of students and there is a lot of fake information in order to

A lot of students now use websites just to copy their homework. Because there is no need in effort it’s enough just to find answers to any questions. And it leads us to future where uneducated person will have good marks just because he know how to use internet. It will create new era of lazy people which aren’t ready to study and try to do something by themselves. In 2022 a group of Harvard scientists proved that nowadays 78% of students use internet just to done their homework and even the number of websites dedicated for leaks of answers increased sharply in last 2 years.

There is a lot of fake information on the internet since anyone have access to create or share artificial news. So using internet to educate students is none of the best ideas because a lot of people love to make fun of others so it leads to students studying and knowing some fake information. For example, in 2023 programmer of Amazon Alan read article about new formula in math to solve tasks connected to algorithms. He didn’t check who was source and started to use this formula in his codes which lead to fall of 300.000 servers of Amazon and expenses in over 500.000$.

In conclusion, I am fully agree with statement that we should ban internet in order to educate.

Word Count: 297

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 7

internet: 6

their: 3

people: 3

there: 3

information: 3

because: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more specific and persuasive. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and stronger evidence to support your arguments. Also, ensure that your examples are clearly linked to the main points you are making.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but the connections between paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions between sentences and ideas within paragraphs need improvement to enhance the flow and readability. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smoother transition from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your ideas. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Review and correct instances where the word choice is not entirely appropriate. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. To enhance grammatical accuracy, concentrate on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to improve the complexity and sophistication of your writing.

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