Opinion

Band 4+: "success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person."

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Achievement is often associated with wealth and material possessions in modern life. However, In my opinion success isn’t always related to money. Because everyone has different goals in life.

One main reason why wealth isn’t always the most important measure of success is that money cannot bring happiness. Weath that is necessary in life, can provide security, comfort and have luxurious style. But it doesn’t bring happiness or excited. Therefore Judging a person’s success only by money is a mistake.

A truly successful person who achieves their personal goals and lives as meaningful life. Achivement may include having a good job, maitaining great relationshíp and activities that benefit society. For example, teacher or doctor may not always earn large amounts of money, but their work has a significant impact on all most people’s live

In conclusion,Although wealth can show a part of achivement , it shouldn’t be seen as the best measure of succes. Real success comes from happiness, personal goals and helping other people

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

success: 4

money: 4

wealth: 3

always: 3

goals: 3

happiness: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the connections between your points and the overall argument. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The vocabulary used is generally basic and lacks sophistication. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. These errors often impede understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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