Opinion

Band 5+: "success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person."

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It is widely believed that success is often measured by high income and material possessions, however, in my opinion wealth does not always mean that person is successful. Moreover, every person has different life experiences, values and aims so success is not only about money.

There are many wealthy individuals who gain all their finances and material possessions during difficult and long career paths. High income was their dream goal and due to clear aim people realised what success means for them. Nevertheless, everybody has completely different dreams and aims, so each person decides what is success independently for themselves.

From my point of view, a successful person is an individual who has already achieved goals and enjoys their deal. Rarely can someone be successful if a person is not aware about what makes them content and realize what is their dream goal. As a result, individuals gain success according to their experience, values and lifestyle. For example, many people strongly believe that their life goal is to have children and become great parents, so in this case family makes a person successful.

To sum up, although it is thought that wealth means success, each person has their own independent point of view and being successful means extremely different things for everyone.

Word Count: 212

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

person: 7

their: 7

success: 6

successful: 4

different: 3

means: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that wealth is not the best measure of success. It also attempts to define what makes a successful person. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks specific, well-supported examples. The response would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the topic, with clearer reasoning and more concrete illustrations to strengthen the argument. Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly phrased, which affects clarity. To improve, focus on developing each main idea with more detail and ensuring that the connection between ideas is explicit. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the second paragraph jumps from wealthy individuals to the idea of personal dreams without a smooth transition. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at using less common words (e.g., 'material possessions', 'independently', 'content'). However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'gain all their finances' (should be 'acquire their wealth') and 'enjoys their deal' (likely meant 'enjoys their achievements'). To improve, expand your range of topic-specific vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including some complex sentences (e.g., 'Rarely can someone be successful if a person is not aware...'). However, there are several errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word choice that affect clarity. For example, 'wealth does not always mean that person is successful' should be 'wealth does not always mean that a person is successful', and 'realise what is their dream goal' should be 'realise what their dream goal is'. To improve, proofread carefully and practice using a variety of sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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Band 5+: "success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person."

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

“success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person.”

“success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person.”

“success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person.”

“success is often measured by wealth and material possession.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person.”

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