Positive And Negative

Band 5+: Task 2 Essay Write about the following topic: In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any in-person interaction with others. Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

In a rapidly evolving world, the topic of online shopping has become an impotant topic of debate. Some people believe that it is better to do purchasing through internet rather than, live with any in-person interaction, while some argue that it is important to do work, shopping and communication face-to-face. I think this trend has both positive and negative aspects. While, it enhances convienence in daily life and increase the risk of scams. On the one hand, in-person interaction in various situations can be seen as positive development. It makes life easy because people do not take worry of any kind of their work such as shopping and communication. For example, a person who have busy routine of work. If he wants to talk with any person; who lives very far away from him. He just open his phone and talk easily. Therefore, online interaction proved to be very beneficial for him. It saves significant amount of his time. Thus, he can spend this time with his family and attend any type of family function.

On the other hand, there are several consequences of this trend. Firstly, it enhance risk of frauds.For example, if i ordered a white shirt but l would receive a mouse instead of shirt. Secondly, online communication via the internet is not very effective. We can not express our feelings well. Furthermore, face-to-face talk on important topic have strong arguments as compare to online talk. It is because we do not need to worry about the internet problem. Thus, everyone can listen in a clear voice and understand your point.

In conclusion, although online interaction enhances convienence of people, it also creates challenges such as online s.cams. I would consider this trend to a double-edged sword.

Word Count: 290

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 6

interaction: 4

topic: 3

shopping: 3

people: 3

internet: 3

communication: 3

trend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of online interaction, and a clear position is presented (it is a double-edged sword). However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. For example, the positive point about convenience is supported with a generic example, and the negative point about scams is illustrated with an unrealistic example. To improve, provide more specific and realistic examples, and ensure each paragraph fully develops its main idea with clear explanation and support. Additionally, pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between points. For example, the introduction presents both positive and negative aspects, but the body paragraphs do not clearly link back to this thesis. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the first body paragraph focuses on the positive, while the second on the negative, which is acceptable, but the internal coherence within paragraphs could be improved). The conclusion is brief and could better summarize the main points. To improve, use more varied linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting examples that are logically connected.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the topic, such as 'rapidly evolving world', 'in-person interaction', 'convenience', and 'double-edged sword'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'impotant' for 'important', 'convienence' for 'convenience', 's.cams' for 'scams') and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'do purchasing through internet', 'do not take worry of any kind of their work'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of certain words like 'online' and 'interaction'. To improve, expand your vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions. Also, proofread to eliminate spelling mistakes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('it enhance risk'), incorrect verb forms ('do purchasing'), and issues with articles and prepositions. For example, 'a person who have busy routine' should be 'a person who has a busy routine'. There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect use of periods. The overall accuracy is inconsistent, and these errors sometimes make the meaning unclear. To improve, focus on grammar accuracy, particularly in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing writing with attention to these details will be beneficial.

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