Opinion

Band 6+: Task 2: Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think that this is a waste of money because people can access information on the internet. Consider both viewpoints and provide your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

A number of people deem that the officials ought to erect free public libraries in each town, while others contend that this is irrelevant on the grounds that people can have access to any information on the internet. In this essay, I will outline both standpoints and present my subjective perspective at the end.

To commence with, free libraries would resemble an act of kindness on behalf of the government and the principal who possesses the facility. Free access to a source of information would benefit those who are destitute, but aspire to get knowledge. Besides, on the condition that the participants do not just take away a book for free, but just to read it and put it back where it was would seem reasonable to make it free.

According to the people who claim that this is a waste of time, when you head to a library, look for a particular book, indicate the specific information, it would take a lot of time during which you could have done many other useful things apart from swiftly looking up for the information on the Internet. In addition to it, since libraries charge money, except for the squandered time, you would also waste your money, which makes it a way better option to find out about something on the internet. This is both fast and free.

In conclusion, I would argue that libraries should be free to have access for information solely if the person just wants to read a specific book and will not take it with them. As for the access to information on the internet, I would personally concur that it is more convenient, quicker, and saves you tons of time.

Word Count: 284

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 7

information: 6

libraries: 4

access: 4

internet: 4

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, ensure each point is clearly explained and directly linked to the question. Also, consider expanding on your own opinion with more detailed reasoning.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion stating your opinion. However, the flow of ideas within some paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between sentences and ideas sometimes feel abrupt. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between benefiting the destitute and the condition of reading books in the library could be clearer. In the third paragraph, the contrast between library use and internet use is well established, but the reasoning could be more tightly woven together. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'therefore') to link ideas and sentences more smoothly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, 'erect' is a slightly unusual word choice for building libraries; 'establish' or 'provide' might be more appropriate. Similarly, 'on the grounds that' is a somewhat formal phrase; consider using simpler alternatives like 'because.' While the vocabulary is generally accurate, refining word choices to be more idiomatic and varied would enhance the essay. Focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing to showcase a broader lexical range. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors occasionally impede clarity. For instance, the phrase 'the principal who possesses the facility' is somewhat awkward; consider rephrasing it for better flow. The sentence 'Besides, on the condition that the participants do not just take away a book for free, but just to read it and put it back where it was would seem reasonable to make it free' is grammatically complex and could be simplified for better readability. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly enhance the essay's clarity.

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