Opinion

Band 5+: Technology addiction Some people say that the increasing use of smartphones and other mobile devices has led to a rise in technology addiction. They argue that this is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Nowadays,our technology is developing every day.We use smartphones,computers and,in general,gadgets in our common life.Because of it now we cannot imagine our life without this technologies.Some people believe that this is the exact problem,that we cannot live without technologies so we are addicted to them.So is that true?

In my

opinion we really are addicted to our technologies.Nowadays we use technologies to everything.From searching information to buying some stuff for home,clothes and so on.I can even not going outside for like couple week and stay at home because i can work online,can order food and other stuff to my house and do not leave my house.To be honest,if i did not had a smartphone,my life would be so much difficult than it is now. Anyways because of myself that addicted to smartphone my own life is really boring. If i had not smartphone or other gadgets i would travel to other countries,do some useful stuff for example studying and doing exercises since i would have so

much time that i spend on scrolling social media “for you” page. So i think in some ways we are saving time on such elementary thing like purchasing certain thing,yet still spending our time for so much unnecessary things like scrolling tiktok or instagram.

For conclusion,i would say that we exactly are dependent on gadgets so we are allocating our time for some useless stuff. However nowadays technologies are really necessary in our life that we cannot visualise our life without this gadgets like smartphones or computers.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stuff: 4

would: 4

cannot: 3

without: 3

technologies: 3

addicted: 3

really: 3

other: 3

gadgets: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the consequences of technology addiction. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs focusing on distinct aspects of the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some coherence, but the organization could be improved. The introduction presents the topic, but the thesis statement could be clearer. The body paragraph provides examples, but the connection to the main argument could be strengthened. The conclusion summarizes the main points, but it could be more impactful. Consider using more transition words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and purpose.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and repetition. For example, the word "stuff" is used multiple times and could be replaced with more specific terms. There are also instances of imprecise word choice, such as "allocating our time for some useless stuff." To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary and pay attention to the nuances of word meanings. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your lexical range. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. For example, "if i did not had a smartphone" should be "if I did not have a smartphone." There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing commas and incorrect use of capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread your work carefully and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

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