Opinion

Band 4+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of urban population in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020 and give the expectation for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, the number of people live in cities increased throughout the given period of time.

According to the graph, in 1970, indicates the lowest urban population when compared with other years and those were lied below the 40%.

Population percentage of Phillipine and Malayasia were fluctuated sharply from 1970 to 1990 and then Malasian urban population increased dramatically by getting above 70% in 2020. It was expected to be increased upto nearly 83% in 2040 which will be the highest population when compared to other three countries. Furthermore, people lived in cities of phillippines were decreased from 50% to just above 40% in 1990 to 2010 respectively. After that, it was increased slowly and predicted to be in nearly 55% in 2040. Starting from just below of 20%, the urban population in Thailand was increased slowly until 2020 and expected to be doubled in 2040 when compared to 1970. Indonesian urban population increased rapidly from 2000 to 2020 and expected to continue in that increment until 2040.

In summary, highest percentage of urban population expected in 2040 when compare to 1970.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

population: 7

urban: 6

increased: 6

expected: 4

percentage: 3

compared: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay provides a basic overview of the information presented in the graph, but there are some key elements missing. The comparison between the four countries is not clearly articulated, and the trends over time are not thoroughly analyzed. To improve, make sure to include more specific data from the graph, such as actual percentage values, and compare the countries more effectively. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the disjointed organization of information. There are abrupt shifts between discussing different countries without a clear transition. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more structured approach with clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve overall flow.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some inaccuracies and repetitions are present. To enhance lexical resource, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to urban population trends. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and accuracy to convey ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors throughout. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence construction to improve accuracy. Proofreading for grammar and punctuation will also help enhance the overall quality of writing.

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