Opinion

Band 5+: The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Working is a lifestyle for many people. Some people work hard only to earn money, others work to improve the company. From my perspective, I firmly agree that the main reason for working is to gain money for many reasons. Therefore, this essay will discuss each point and explain my opinion.

To begin with, working hard can lead to great career journey. This is because workers can enhance their abilities and increase their salaries, so their lives will be better than before. For instance, during 2016, a study recorded that if a employee improved his abilities, the company will increase his salary significantly. Consequently, his new salary will transform his life in a positive way. As a result, it is important for people to enhance their skills to success in life.

Moreover, working for money can transform people’s children lives. The reason is that when a person gains a large amount of money, he will begin improving his family’s lives, by enhancing their house or saving money for the future of his sons. For example, if a father is earning a large amount of money, so he begins to improve the structure of the house. In addition, he saves money for the future of his children. Thus, workers can improve their children’s lives, by gaining a large amount of money.1

To conclude, money is one of the main resources for living. In my opinion, I strongly agree that it is essential for workers to work hard to earn money for numerous reasons.

Word Count: 252

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 9

their: 6

working: 4

lives: 4

people: 3

improve: 3

workers: 3

large: 3

amount: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the writer agrees with the statement. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. The main points - improving one's own life and improving one's children's lives - are essentially two sides of the same coin (financial improvement), which prevents the essay from exploring the depth of the topic. To improve, try to expand on different dimensions of the argument. For example, you could discuss how money provides security, access to education, or healthcare. Additionally, avoid circular reasoning where the conclusion of a paragraph simply restates the topic sentence using different words. Aim to provide more varied supporting details rather than repeating the same concept of 'improving life' in every paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive. Many sentences start with similar cohesive devices (e.g., 'The reason is that', 'For example', 'In addition'), which makes the writing feel mechanical. To improve, try to use more varied linking words and focus on developing a logical flow where one idea naturally leads into the next, rather than just listing points. Additionally, the introduction contains a 'plan sentence' ('this essay will discuss each point...') which is often considered unnecessary in higher-band essays; instead, try to integrate your main arguments directly into the thesis statement.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional and allows the reader to understand the main points, but it is quite basic and repetitive. Words like 'improve', 'large amount of money', and 'enhance' are used multiple times throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms. For example, instead of 'large amount of money', you could use 'substantial income', 'wealth', or 'financial resources'. Instead of 'improve', consider 'elevate', 'augment', or 'better'. Using more precise collocations will also make the writing sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a employee' should be 'an employee'), tense consistency (mixing present and future in conditional sentences), and word forms (e.g., 'to success in life' should be 'to succeed in life'). There are also instances of redundant conjunctions (e.g., 'if... so...'). Focus on mastering conditional structures (If + present, will + verb) and ensuring that your noun-verb agreements are consistent throughout the text.

Essays On The Same Topic:

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The purpose of going to work by people is to make money. That is a wide spreading idea. I genuily believe a lot of people like to go to work to meets and makes good relationship as others like to gain a good experties. Many human being are meant to be social meeting friends and […]

Band 4+

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of whether people work hard just to be wealthy has attracted considerable attention in recent years. Personally, I partially agree with this statement because although some people’s goal is to earn more money, a lot of people also prioritize their contributution to society. One of the main reasons why people work hard is […]

Band 7+

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate about whether earning money serves as a vital catalyst for working hard. This essay completely agrees with this statement, as it provides individuals with an invaluable opportunity not only to relax themselves but also to offer a high quality of life to their family. Firstly, working hard in order to […]

Band 6+

The main reason that people work hard is to make money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, it has become for people to work for a long hours to earn more money. While I agree that this is true in practical terms, I believe that the psychological impact of this work should not be underestimated. The main reason why many people work hard is related to good quality of […]

Band 6+

See All

Some people believe that the government should limit the amount of time children spend on digital devices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to technological advancements, some individuals believe that the government should impose strict laws to limit children’s prolonged screen exposure. I strongly disagree with this view because, rather than imposing strict laws, parents should be primarily responsible for regulating their offspring’s screen time. Firstly, parents are more likely aware of their children’s lifestyle, mindset and […]

Band 6+

Some people believe that reading stories a from book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that some people think reading tales and stories from a book is a better way of exploring new aspects of the world, while others encourage potential benefits of watching TV programs or playing games on computer. Although I acknowledge some beneficial sites of second way, I believe reading stories is better […]

Band 5+

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon, and what are some of the possible solutions?

In the world of qualifies sport players, a rising pattern of athletes using prohibited materials in order to increase their accomplishments can be seen. This is because of the intense competitions among players and not training well enough beforehand for their matches. These problems can be solved by revising the rules and getting a competent […]

Band 6+

Some people believe that environmental issues should be solved by government while others think individuals must take more responsibility.

In recent years, environmental pollution is the talk of the town due to various factors. To address this problem, some individuals believe that the government is the only responsible to solve this problem, whereas others claim every persons should take necessary measures to tackle this problem. I personally believe that the government as well as […]

Band 5+

Nowadays, more and more people want to get things done instantly (such as services, information, and tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In our contemporary world, the growing expectation of instant service and information has gained remarkable prominence and significantly influenced modern life. Although this trend offers certain advangtages – most notably saving time and improving productivity. I contend that the advantages, particularly making people lose patience and undermining their ability to pursue long-term goals, outweigh the […]

Band 6+

These days, online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, online shopping is more popular than traditional shopping. This essay suggests time efficiency and not getting tired as advantages and sizes not fitting and packing mistakes as disadvantages. Online shopping is more popular because of time efficiency and not getting tired of walking and choosing clothes. It is time efficient because we don’t need […]

Band 5+

See All

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Other Topics:

Plans & Pricing

Free

Premium