Opinion

Band 5+: The world's population is increasing rapidly, and this growth can cause serious problems for both developing and developed countries. What problems can result from overpopulation, and what solutions can be suggested to deal with these issues? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The world’s population is experiencing a considerable growth of people, this causing problems for everyone, not only for undeveloped and poor nations, but also for developed and industrialized countries.

On the one hand, many people help for industrialization and development. Despite of one person do not have huge impact, but the a lot of number of them makes an enormous effect on general developing. For instance, China has one of the biggest population, and for past 10 years they almost urbanized whole country. Consequently, without people, any country cannot be urbanized, because they will not have workforce. For example, USA have many emigrants, who moved to this country and work for higher salaries, and is profitable for government too.

On the other hand, many people also make problems, because governments around the world do not ready for large amount of people, for example, overpopulation in the world caused issues with shortage of resources. According to my observation, governments should make rules to save their countries and fix troubles caused by overpopulation, but they also should stay balanced. For instance, they can use resources minimally, try to make new type of renewable energy, or also recycle rubbish and trash for use them instead of obtain new resources.

In the closest future the number of people on Earth will be 10 billion people, but if we don’t save and recycle resources, or don’t make new strategies of spending them, we will faced with issues caused by overpopulation immediately

Word Count: 246

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

country: 3

overpopulation: 3

caused: 3

resources: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by describing problems of overpopulation and suggesting solutions. A position is presented, but some ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the suggested solutions. Ensure a clearer connection between the problems and solutions discussed. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The connection between the increasing population and the examples provided (China's urbanization, US immigration) needs to be more explicitly stated. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and more explicit transitions between ideas. For example, the shift from the benefits of population to the problems it causes could be smoother. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's a lack of precision and sophistication. Some word choices are not entirely appropriate (e.g., "help for industrialization"). There are also instances of repetitive language (e.g., "many people"). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the nuances of word meaning. Consider using a thesaurus to find more precise and varied ways to express your ideas.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. These include errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, "Despite of one person do not have huge impact" is grammatically incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and proofread carefully for errors. Consider working on sentence structure to create more complex and varied sentences while maintaining accuracy.

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