Opinion

Band 6+: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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It is more crucial to hang out with family and mates instead of shaping your professional life. I partially agree with that, as both friends and family play an important role in life. However, a strong career is also one of the most unique things in a person’s life.

On one hand, friends and family play an important role in a person’s life because they help you to understand your feelings and make you happy with them. For instance, when a person comes home after work from the office, he is already so lazy, but the family helps him to maintain a good mood by talking to him, giving him food or refreshments. Secondly, friends are also known as crime partners, which means they know everything about you. For example, when a person meets their friends after weekdays or on weekends, they usually talk about situations that happened during the weekdays. They also talk about creativity, which boosts the mental health of a person.

On the other hand, focusing on a career provides better opportunities and plays a beneficial role in a person’s life. For example, a student who has recently graduated from university needs skills to get a job. He must first do an internship, get certifications, and then stand in the job market. Secondly, thinking about improving skills helps a person stand out among others. A person who has a lot of skills has a better chance of getting a job instead of a person who has limited skills.

In conclusion, friends and family also help a person in their personal life, while career advancement is very beneficial for a person to get a unique lifestyle. A balanced approach is important because both are important in a person’s life.

Word Count: 291

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

person: 7

family: 5

friends: 5

important: 4

person's: 4

about: 4

career: 3

skills: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (partial agreement), but the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The arguments for family/friends and career are relevant but are supported with generic examples and some informal language (e.g., 'crime partners'). The conclusion introduces a balanced approach, which is appropriate, but the overall response could be more focused and detailed. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, provide more specific and varied examples, and avoid informal or unclear expressions. Also, aim for a more cohesive structure with smoother transitions between ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs for each side of the argument and a conclusion. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother, and the conclusion could more explicitly tie back to the introduction. Overall, the message is clear and easy to follow, but there is room for more sophisticated cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, such as 'crucial', 'professional life', 'beneficial role', and 'unique lifestyle'. However, there are some informal and imprecise word choices, such as 'hang out', 'mates', and 'crime partners', which are not suitable for an academic essay. To improve, use more formal and precise vocabulary, and avoid colloquial expressions. Additionally, some phrases like 'one of the most unique things' are awkward; 'unique' is not typically used with 'most'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms. There are minor errors, such as 'he is already so lazy' (should be 'tired') and 'they usually talk about situations that happened during the weekdays' (could be more concise). However, these do not impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, aim for more variety in sentence structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and word choice are consistently accurate.

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Band 6+: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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