Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Today, more and more schools make sport as an essential part of their curriculum for their students seeing the benefits that it might bring about. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, with the internet evolving and being more relevant to normal DAILY tasks, children HAVE has been playing less sports and DOING LESS physical activities DURING in their youth. Encouraging kids to play sports in school is an excellent way to include exercise ON in their routine and reduce screen time.

THERE ARE ADVANTAGES OF practicing sports during school has a lot of advantages. Firstly, sports in school can COULD help the kids not only with the exercise, better TO INCREASE physical health QUALITY, but ALSO with mental health as well, since playing sports AT in a young age can improve and help with RELIEF stress and mental illness. Secondly, sports can COULD teach the kids teamwork, friendship, discipline, responsibility, concentration and social skills. For example, children who have problems making friends can join the football team and get to know kids of their age. Furthermore, being PART OF in a team can teach how to deal with winnings and losings.

On the other hand, THERE ARE DISADVANTAGES WHEN playing sports in school can have some disadvantages, such as getting injuries while practicing THEM, less study time ON in their day, pressure and stress about winning, tiredness, and bullying and exclusion with kids that are anathletic UNATHLETIC or bad at sports. Besides, sports can be expensive thus the uniforms and equipments, meaning that not every student will be able to afford it.

In conclusion, although encouraging children playing sports in school, CAN PROVIDE NEGATIVENESS can have some disadvantages ,I believe the advantages outweigh them. With the supervision of the teachers and the COACHES trainers, the kids would have a healthier envoroment ENVIRONMENT to exercise AND OUTPERFORM THEMSELVES

Word Count: 277

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 10

school: 5

playing: 4

their: 4

children: 3

exercise: 3

advantages: 3

disadvantages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of encouraging sports at school, and it presents a clear position in the conclusion. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the benefits for making friends and the risks of injuries. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are some lapses in clarity and precision. For instance, the advantages paragraph could be more focused, and the disadvantages are listed without much elaboration. To improve, aim to develop each point with more specific explanation or examples, and ensure that the structure is more coherent, with clear topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and some unclear connections between ideas. For example, the introduction jumps from the impact of the internet to the benefits of school sports without a smooth transition. The body paragraphs present relevant points but sometimes list them without clear linking, and the conclusion could be more effectively tied back to the main arguments. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'however') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'physical health', 'mental health', 'teamwork', 'bullying', 'equipment'). However, there are several word choice errors and awkward collocations (e.g., 'anathletic' instead of 'unathletic', 'relief stress' instead of 'relieve stress', 'deal with winnings and losings' instead of 'deal with winning and losing'). The phrasing 'CAN PROVIDE NEGATIVENESS' is unclear and not natural. To improve, focus on using precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translations or informal expressions. Also, ensure correct word forms (e.g., 'equipments' should be 'equipment'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. However, there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('children HAVE has been'), incorrect verb forms ('sports can COULD help'), and missing or incorrect prepositions ('ON in their routine', 'AT in a young age'). There are also issues with articles and pluralization ('the uniforms and equipments'). Punctuation is sometimes incorrect (e.g., missing space after comma in 'disadvantages ,I'). To improve, review grammar rules for verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and articles. Practice writing sentences with varied structures and proofread to eliminate basic errors.

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Band 5+: Today, more and more schools make sport as an essential part of their curriculum for their students seeing the benefits that it might bring about. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Today, more and more schools make sport as an essential part of their curriculum for their students seeing the benefits that it might bring about. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, more and more schools make sport as an essential part of their curriculum for their students seeing the benefits that it might bring about. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Other Topics:

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think that they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

The rise of remote work has created a significant divide between urban and rural areas, with rural regions experiencing both population decline and a lack of digital infrastructure. What are the underlying reasons for this disparity, and what measures could be taken to balance development?

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could it be solved?

Nowadays many parents hire private tutors for their children. Is it a positive or negative development.

Many cities face a severe shortage of affordable housing. What causes this problem, and what measures could governments and employers take to address it?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

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