Opinion

Band 4+: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.To what extant do you agree or disagree?

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Advertisement is the process of doing marketing of their product by the companies or factories. Nowadays advertisement plays a significant role to sell the product.At my point of view I agree that demand of popular consumer goods are increasing due to marketing not due to need of society I will elaborate below

In cutting edge technology , most of the people use internet and they used to watch mukbang and food challenge. Many YouTuber make vlog related to fast food which attract the public. Even though actor and actress do add related to Jung food for eg indian popular actress Katrina make advertisement related to kurkure. As they are the influencer and role maker of the society however many public get influenced to buy such product even though they don’t need it.

Secondly, as we know human are curious creature and they want to do some thrill in their life. Now people are getting attracted toward slim coffee and slim belt due to various add in their mobile phone which is clearly rubbish. Man do not have time to do some research about the product what they used and get easily convinced by the sales man.

In conclusion, human should not easily believe whatever show or tell on advertisement untill they don’t use the product by themselves. Public should buy the product according to their necessities not for showoff

Word Count: 229

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

product: 5

advertisement: 4

their: 4

related: 3

public: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited. The examples provided are relevant, but the explanation and analysis are lacking. To improve, consider expanding on the points made and providing more detailed support for the position taken. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5

The essay is somewhat difficult to follow due to the lack of clear organization and coherence. There are some issues with paragraphing and the flow of ideas. To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion, and use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

3.5

There is a limited range of vocabulary and some inaccuracies in word choice and expression. To improve, work on using a wider variety of vocabulary and refining the precision of language. Additionally, pay attention to using appropriate terminology and expressions in a more natural and sophisticated manner.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

The essay demonstrates some control of grammar and a mix of sentence structures, but there are noticeable errors in punctuation, verb tense, and sentence construction. To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures and pay closer attention to punctuation and verb tense consistency.

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