Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

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It is often argued that the internet has many advantages in the world,however the disadvantages about its control and security are more. This essay totally disagrees with that statement.I believe that the internet helps our everyday life and makes it easier.

One key reason why I agree with this opinion is that we save time by doing many things ,we don’t need to move around to do our daily activities and we can accomplish them from home ,for example go shopping online,pay the bills,study new language remotely,retrieve documents and schedule appointments.Wich clearly supports this opinion.

Another raison is that we can stay in touch with our family and friends ,with social media we have many applications to contact a person wherever they are in the world,you can travel to other countries virtually ,for example you may use whatsapp ,viber… anytime from your phone or laptop and you start the conversation in audio or videocall,this is the best technology development .This further explains why I believe this view is correct.

I think there is an interesting raison , the internet helps us find information in any field,the diversity of data makes the life very simple and without effort,for example you should just open google ,write a key word and you start to research ,automatically a various of resources appear ,once you check them you will find what you look for.

In conclusion ,I strongly agree that the Internet is very beneficial.This is because it makes daily use quickly,information accessible and keeps us in contact with others.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 4

makes: 3

example: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position (disagreeing with the statement) and provides relevant ideas about the benefits of the internet. However, the response is somewhat limited in development: the arguments are supported with examples but lack depth and precision. The essay does not fully explore the counter-argument (the problems of control and security) as implied by the prompt, which is a minor omission. To improve, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed, perhaps by acknowledging the opposing view and then refuting it. Additionally, work on developing each idea more fully with specific, well-explained examples, and avoid repetition. The structure is clear, but the language is simplistic and contains errors that affect clarity. Focus on expanding your ideas and improving grammatical accuracy to achieve a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is often disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, the use of 'One key reason', 'Another raison', and 'I think there is an interesting raison' is repetitive and the latter two are awkwardly phrased. The essay would benefit from more varied linking words and clearer topic sentences to guide the reader. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could better summarize the main points.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'advantages', 'disadvantages', 'control', 'security', 'everyday life', 'social media', and 'information'. However, there are several lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'raison' instead of 'reason', 'a various of resources' instead of 'a variety of resources', and 'the life very simple' instead of 'life very simple'. The essay also lacks sophistication in word choice and collocation. To improve, the writer should expand their vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the disadvantages about its control and security are more' should be 'the disadvantages ... are greater'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'raison' for 'reason'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas after introductory phrases, and run-on sentences). The sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, the writer should focus on grammar fundamentals, such as verb tenses, articles, and sentence boundaries, and practice using a wider range of sentence structures.

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Band 5+: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

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University students study one subject alone. However, some people think that they should study other subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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