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Band 5+: The data displays of 3 dissimilar categories of exports in 3 countries from 1990 to 2013: Japan, Colombia and Myanmar.

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The image contains a line graph titled "Clothing Exports (1999-2003)" with the X-axis representing years from 1999 to 2003 and the Y-axis representing the amount of exports (in billions of dollars) ranging from 0 to 1000. The graph includes three lines representing Colombia, Japan, and Myanmar. Colombia's exports start at approximately 150 in 1999, increase to 200 in 2000, peak at 300 in 2001, then decrease to 250 in 2002 and 200 in 2003. Japan's exports start at 500 in 1999, increase to 600 in 2000, peak at 800 in 2001, then decrease to 700 in 2002 and 600 in 2003. Myanmar's exports start at approximately 600 in 1999, increase to 700 in 2000, peak at 900 in 2001, then decrease to 600 in 2002 and 500 in 2003.

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The line graph depicts the total export of clothing in three different countries Japan, Myanmar, and Colombia over a time period of 23 years.

Overall, we can see that Colombia and Japan did not experience huge fluctuations in clothing exports. In contrast, Myanmar changed drastically over time.

In 1990, Japan and Colombia roughly had the same clothing export in the range of 470 to 570 million dollars. On the other hand, at that time Myanmar had no sales of clothing at all. In the next 10 years to 2000, Myanmar’s figure rose dramatically to 800 million dollars, over 250 million more than Japan and Colombia. All countries saw an increase in 2011, with Myanmar still the highest in total sales.

Myanmar experienced a massive plummet in total sales in 2012, falling to 350 million dollars, half of the Colombia sales, which are at 700 million dollars. In 2013 all countries had a recession in sales except Myanmar that saw an upward trend. However, Myanmar ended the period with the lowest level.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

myanmar: 6

colombia: 5

million: 5

clothing: 4

japan: 4

dollars: 4

sales: 4

total: 3

countries: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. Key points are often inaccurate, and the time frame mentioned does not align with the provided graph. The report needs to focus more on accurately representing the data and making relevant comparisons within the correct time period. To improve, carefully analyze the graph before writing, ensuring that all data points and trends are correctly identified and reported. Focus on providing accurate figures and time references, and avoid making claims that are not supported by the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate organization, but there are some inconsistencies in the flow of information. The introduction provides a general overview, and the body paragraphs attempt to describe trends and make comparisons. However, the chronological order is not strictly followed, and some statements lack clear connections to the overall trend. For example, the abrupt shift to discussing specific values in 1990 and the subsequent years disrupts the flow. To improve coherence, ensure a logical progression of ideas, using clear transitions between paragraphs and sentences. Focus on maintaining a consistent chronological order or thematic structure to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise language could be used to describe the data. For example, phrases like "huge fluctuations" and "changed drastically" are somewhat vague. While the report includes terms like "plummet" and "recession," the overall lexical resource could be enhanced by incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to economic trends and data analysis. Consider using synonyms and more descriptive adjectives to provide a clearer and more nuanced picture of the clothing export trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. The tense usage is inconsistent, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, the phrase "Japan and Colombia roughly had the same clothing export" contains awkward phrasing. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report for errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that each sentence is grammatically sound and conveys the intended meaning clearly.

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