Opinion

Band 6+: You and your family visit the local shopping mall every week. However, it has become more and more difficult to find a parking spot recently. You would like to let the shopping mall manager know about this problem. This is a Celpip writing test question. I will give you an answer and you assign me a clb score based on my answer.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

My family is a frequent shopper at your shopping complex. I am writing to you today to express my concerns regarding the parking issue we have been facing for the last several weeks. I sincerely hope that you will pay heed to this letter and take appropriate measures accordingly.

I visit the mall almost every week along with my family of 3. We have noticed that lately, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find parking at the parking lot of the mall. We mostly visit on Wednesday afternoons, when it is supposedly quiet. However, we still struggle to find a parking spot in such a sizable parking lot.

Each time we arrive, we spend almost 15 minutes looking for a parking spot. For our last 2 visits, we had to park inside the parking lot directly opposite from the complex, because we could not find a spot. I suspect one of the reasons behind the lot being full all the time is people that work in close by buildings park their vehicles in the mall’s parking lot.

I would recommend that you put measures in place that disallows persons visiting the mall to park there. Alternatively, you could make parking payable so that only genuine shoppers enter the parking area.

I look forward to your timely response.

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

parking: 10

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the prompt appropriately and presents a clear position regarding the parking issue. The ideas are relevant and supported with specific examples, such as the difficulty finding parking on Wednesdays and having to park in a different lot. However, the development of some ideas could be more precise. For instance, elaborating on the impact of the parking issue on the shopping experience or providing more detailed suggestions for solutions could strengthen the response. Overall, the letter is well-written and conveys the message effectively. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clearly stated in the introduction, and the main points are presented logically. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using transition words or phrases to better connect these ideas. For example, you could add a sentence at the end of the second paragraph that foreshadows the parking difficulties you will discuss in the third paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Words like 'frequent shopper,' 'increasingly difficult,' and 'genuine shoppers' are well-chosen. To further enhance your lexical resource, try incorporating more specific vocabulary related to parking management or retail environments. For instance, instead of 'put measures in place,' you could use 'implement parking restrictions' or 'introduce a validation system.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of prepositions. For example, review the use of 'disallows persons visiting the mall to park there.' Consider rephrasing it to 'prohibits individuals who are not mall patrons from parking there' for improved clarity and grammatical correctness.

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