Letter

Band 6+: Your company is planning to organize a team-building event, and you have some suggestions for the location and activities. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, you should include: • Suggest a specific location for the event and explain why it would be a good choice. • Propose some team-building activities that would be fun and beneficial for the team. • Ask for their input and express your willingness to help with the arrangements.

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Dear company,

I am writing to you to present my proposals about the event which is going to happen in the long run.As I understood,this meeting is planned for all stuff,and I think it is important for each of us to contribute to it as much as possible.

I would suggest that the activity take place at the new restaurant in Chișinau called “Entourage”.This recommendation has many reasons,including the pleasant atmosphere there and also the great service.It would be a good idea to conduct our event there because it is very large and spacious for a team of many people.That is why I believe that this one is the best option for us to choose.

I also consider that some team-building activities would help our group to become more productive and friendly.Some icebreaker games for knowing each other better could bring us many funny moments and unforgettable memories.Speaking about my contribution to this event,I am able to help you with some tiny details like invitations and decorations which can help the place become more comfortable,because feeling at ease is a crucial factor.Also,I would like to hear about your inputs and if you have the possibility to share them with me,please do it as soon as possible because it is essential for me.

Thanks for your attention,

Pînzari Alexandra.

Word Count: 218

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task but includes some irrelevant information and inaccuracies. The tone is not consistently professional, and the suggestions lack detail. To improve, focus on providing specific and relevant details, maintaining a professional tone, and ensuring clarity in your suggestions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the introduction is a bit vague. Instead of 'Dear company,' address your manager by name or title. The phrase 'in the long run' is also vague and doesn't add much meaning. The transition between paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. Try to create smoother connections between your suggestions and offers to help. For example, you could link your activity suggestions more directly to the benefits they offer for team productivity and friendliness.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Instead of 'stuff,' use 'staff' or 'employees.' Phrases like 'many reasons' and 'tiny details' are generic; try to use more specific language. For example, instead of 'tiny details,' you could say 'designing invitations and selecting decorations.' Using more descriptive language will make your letter more engaging and persuasive.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the letter. For example, 'As I understood, this meeting is planned for all stuff' should be 'As I understand, this event is planned for all staff.' 'This recommendation has many reasons' could be improved to 'There are several reasons for this recommendation.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage (a/an/the). Proofreading carefully will help catch these errors.

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