Letter

Band 5+: You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Describe the training course you want to do Explain what the company could do to help you Say how the course will be useful for your job

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Dear Mr Farhadi ,

I am writing a letter to let you know about an international training course related to my career which I have seen in the newspaper,and will hold in Turkey. I am enthusiast to participate in that course next Monday. I firmly believe that it will be essential for both company and me to change my productivity.

As an accountant in this company, I realize that I needed to update my knowledge, related to existing latest accounting program which have accurate outcome with easy access to annual turnover. I would realy appriciate if you permit me for registration and allocating a budget for accommodation, flight and extra costs.

As can be seen, most pioneer in this field have the ability of adopting intricate approach for most difficult data analysis by using trained accountants to never face bankrupting or making lose. Updating information and purchasing latest accounting apps are not the only items which all corporation must consider, but also they should update employees with the knowledge of finding strategy to make profits and bending taxes. Engaging in this course offers those benefits for both me and the company.

I look forward to your consideration

yours sincerely,

Maryam

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

course: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, describing the training course, explaining how the company can help, and detailing the course's usefulness. However, there are some areas for improvement. The letter could benefit from more specific details about the course content and its direct application to the writer's role. Additionally, the tone could be more professional and less enthusiastic to maintain a formal business communication style. Some sentences are a bit verbose and could be more concise for better clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is generally clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, when moving from describing the course to requesting support, a clearer transition would enhance coherence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of 'change my productivity,' consider 'enhance my efficiency' or 'improve my performance.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more impactful. Also, be careful with spelling; 'appreciate' is misspelled.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'I am enthusiast to participate in that course next Monday' should be 'I am enthusiastic about participating in that course next Monday.' Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully will help improve accuracy.

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