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Band 5+: occupation of people suffering from stress related illness and average number of hourse worked per week

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The image presents a pie chart and a bar graph. The pie chart shows occupations of people suffering from stress-related illness: Writers 8%, Doctors 18%, Chefs 8%, Lecturers 11%, Lawyers 5%, Movie Producers 15%, Programmers 10%, Businessmen 25%. The bar graph illustrates the average number of hours worked per week for each occupation: Writers 30 hours, Doctors 50 hours, Chefs 25 hours, Lecturers 35 hours, Lawyers 40 hours, Movie Producers 45 hours, Programmers 55 hours, Businessmen 65 hours.

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These charts give us information about people who get ill from professional stress and the statistics of working hours in a week in some occupations.

According to the pie chart the lecturers has the most percentage among other professions. 25% of lecturers deal with acquisition of different sickness. Although the smallest index consists of only 5%. The programmer are less involved in stress according to the illustrations.

The bar chart depicts us the total work hours of workers. Actually we can clearly see that people who run the business are the hardworking ones. The approximate number is 70 which is the highest result. The next one is movie producer. The overall number is 60 hours in one week .Vise verse to the business people the lecturers have the less hours which constitutes nearly 30 hours.

Overall,the most stressful but at the same with time less worked time profession is lecturers.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hours: 4

lecturers: 4

people: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The pie chart information is not accurately represented, and there are errors in identifying the highest and lowest percentages. The bar chart description also contains inaccuracies regarding the number of hours worked by different professions. The writing could be improved by focusing on accurate data representation and avoiding generalizations. The organization of the report could also be improved by grouping related information together.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from the pie chart to the bar chart needs a clearer connection. Paragraphing could be more effective in grouping related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('acquisition of different sickness'). There's room to introduce a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more precisely and avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider alternatives like 'proportion' or 'share.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'lecturers has the most percentage' and 'Vise verse to the business people the lecturers have the less hours' demonstrate issues with subject-verb agreement and correct usage of phrases. Focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy in grammar and punctuation.

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