Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a horizontal bar chart with two bars for each category indicating data for 1999 and 1996; Accommodation: 1999 (30), 1996 (25); Food, bills, household goods: 1999 (20), 1996 (15); Essential travel: 1999 (15), 1996 (13); Non-essential travel: 1999 (10), 1996 (8); Children: 1999 (15), 1996 (10); Course expenditure: 1999 (25), 1996(20); Entertainment: 1999 (10), 1996 (15); Other (1): 1999 (5), 1996 (10). The x-axis scale ranges from 0 to 35 with increments of 5.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart shows the changes which took place in student spending in the United kingdom during the three-year period from 1996 to 1999.

Students spent 3% less on accommodation, which fell from 23% to 20% of total expenditure, and there was a 2% decrease in spending on Food, bills and houshold goods, which fell from 20% to 18%. At the same time course expenditure went down by 3% from 10% to 7%. Children, who constituted 1% of student’s expenditure in 1996, are not represented in 1999.

On the other hand, three was a 5% growth in spending on entertainment, which stood at 26% of total expenditure in 1996 but rose to 31% in 1999. Spending on other non-essential items and credit repayments grew by 4% to make up 16% of total expenditure. Spending on essential travel went up by 3% while non-essential travel underwent a 1% fall.

Overall, with the exception of expenditure on travel, the most significant general change was a shift from spending on essential items to spending on non-essential items.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spending: 7

expenditure: 6

which: 4

total: 3

non-essential: 3

items: 3

travel: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies in the data reported, which detracts from the overall task achievement. The organization is present but could be improved by grouping similar trends together more effectively. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and ensuring that the main trends are clearly identified and supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. The information is not always presented in a logical order, making it slightly difficult to follow the trends. Consider grouping similar trends together (e.g., increases vs. decreases) and using clearer transition words to guide the reader. Paragraphing is adequate but could be more effective in highlighting key shifts in expenditure.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the trends in student expenditure. However, there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'spending on,' try incorporating synonyms like 'expenditure for,' 'allocation to,' or 'funds directed towards.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to financial trends, such as 'increased marginally,' 'decreased substantially,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and inaccuracies. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the clarity and professionalism of the writing. Focus on improving accuracy in areas such as verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully before submission can help identify and correct these errors.

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