Band 4+: the graph shows the propotion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three differents countries

The report addresses the task by attempting to describe the trends for all three countries, but it suffers from significant issues with clarity, accuracy, and data organization. The overview is somewhat vague, and the body paragraph contains several inaccuracies regarding which country reached which percentage at specific times, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. Additionally, the use of mathematical symbols (e.g., 7,5%) and punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Data Accuracy and Organization**: Ensure that you clearly link the correct percentage to the correct country. Grouping data logically (e.g., comparing the stable period of Japan with the rising period of the USA and Sweden) will make the report more coherent. 2. **Clarity of Trends**: Avoid using overly dramatic language like 'rocketed' unless the data shows an extremely sharp, vertical movement. Instead, use more precise academic terms like 'increased steadily' or 'rose significantly'. 3. **Grammar and Mechanics**: Work on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions (e.g., 'in 2020' instead of 'on 2020'). Ensure there is a space after commas and periods to improve readability. 4. **Structure**: A standard Task 1 report should include an introduction (paraphrasing the prompt), an overview (highlighting main trends), and two body paragraphs (detailing specific data). The current 'To sum up' section is more suited to an opinion essay; in Task 1, the overview should ideally come immediately after the introduction.

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor punctuation and sentence structure. The use of cohesive devices like 'in the other hand' (which should be 'on the other hand') is attempted but often used incorrectly or with punctuation errors. To improve, ensure that each sentence is a complete thought and use a wider variety of linking words to connect trends (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Following this period'). Avoid long, run-on sentences by using full stops to separate distinct observations.

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary such as 'depicts,' 'rocketed,' and 'fluctuate,' which is positive. However, there are several spelling errors ('ine', 'flactuate', 'acheive', 'well-khown') and inaccuracies in word choice ('ratio of the inhabitants' is less natural than 'proportion of the population'). Additionally, some terms are used repetitively. To improve, focus on the correct spelling of common academic words and practice using precise collocations related to data description (e.g., 'experienced a significant increase' instead of 'up and down').

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the usa' instead of 'the USA'), and preposition usage (e.g., 'on 2020' instead of 'in 2020'). The sentence structures are often fragmented or overly complex without proper control. To improve, work on basic sentence construction, ensure proper capitalization of country names, and practice using different tense forms correctly, especially when distinguishing between historical data (past tense) and projections (future tense).