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Band 5+: Limited money should be spent on computer equipment or good teachers. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate if limited amount of money ought to be allocated to the qualified teachers or digital equipment to improve the quality of education system. Despite the benefits of spending money on computers, I believe that teachers’ role is more crucial. So, this essay will take into consideration both views in the forthcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why computers are crucial to improving education. Firstly, computers can facilitate learning process in schools, colleges or universities. If government spends more money for digital technologies, pupils will learn new information, knowledge and subjects which is in the schedule. The work of teachers will also be easier. For example, there are so many imperative technologies in Japanese schools. As a result of Japan is among seven the most developed countries. Furthermore, provision of computers can be chance to be aware of latest technologies. There are so many children who don’t know using computers in this world. For this reason, the country cannot develop and the children of these countries will be ignorant in the future. For instance, there are lots of uneducated pupils in Ghana because of this country not only lacks technology, but also lacks education system.

However, though the reasons mentioned above can support why technologies are vital, I believe that teachers’ role is more important for education. One of the factors which can support tutors’ role is that having professional teachers. If government spend more income for teachers, there will be more prof tutors in the future. Such as, there are numerous qualified teachers in Germany. Hence, the education is very developed. Lastly, it can also be helpful for motivation of tutors. If teachers get more income for their crucial works, they will try to help pupils in their learning. In other words, teachers might give more advises for children as a result of the quality of education will see a significant growth.

In conclusion, government ought to spend more money on latest technologies or tutors. I think, the limited money should be spent for teachers thus it can create more qualified teachers and motivation for tutors.

Word Count: 355

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

teachers: 9

there: 7

education: 6

money: 5

computers: 5

technologies: 5

tutors: 4

qualified: 3

crucial: 3

government: 3

pupils: 3

children: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the importance of computer equipment and the importance of teachers, while clearly stating a personal opinion. A position is maintained throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. Some arguments are presented with logical leaps; for example, the connection between Japanese technology and the country's overall development is stated but not fully explained in the context of education. Additionally, the examples provided (Japan and Ghana) are somewhat generalized and could be more precisely linked to the specific argument of 'limited money allocation.' To improve, focus on extending your ideas with more detailed explanations of *how* or *why* these factors impact education, rather than just stating that they do. Ensure that each supporting point is logically connected to the main idea of the paragraph to avoid a lack of precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for both views, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and logical leaps. For example, the connection between Japanese technology and the country's development is stated too abruptly. To improve, use more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next. Avoid using 'So' to start sentences in formal writing; instead, use 'Therefore' or 'Consequently'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but there is significant repetition (e.g., using 'teachers', 'tutors', and 'pupils' repeatedly without much variety) and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'imperative technologies', 'more income for their crucial works', 'give more advises'). Note that 'advice' is uncountable and should not be used with an 's'. Aim to use more academic collocations and a wider range of synonyms to demonstrate lexical flexibility. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'government spend' instead of 'government spends'), article usage (e.g., 'the education is very developed'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'As a result of Japan is among...'). There are also issues with fragment sentences and incorrect preposition usage. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that basic grammatical rules, such as noun-verb agreement and the use of articles, are applied consistently.

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Band 5+: Limited money should be spent on computer equipment or good teachers. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Limited money should be spent on computer equipment or good teachers. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Around the world children learn English as a second language at school. However, in some places they also learn at Kindergarten. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at a kindergarten?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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