Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that students should be taught academic subjects only. Others argue that practical skills like car maintenance or cooking should also be taught in schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowdays, many people have different opinions about school subjects. Some people believe that students should study only academic subjects, while others think that practical subjects are more important. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.

If think about it, academic subjects play an important role in students education. But, what are academic subjects? Subjects such as mathematics, science, history and literature help students develop knowledge and critical thinking skills. For example, students need these subjects to become doctor or teacher. In addition, students can not enter to university without these subjects.

About practical subjects, these subjects help students in everyday life. They can learn how to earn money, how to cook meals or communicate with other people. Also, these skills are useful after finishing school or university adaptation. These skills necessary for everyone. Moreover, practical lessons are often more interesting, because students can learn doing real life activities than only than to reading or knowing the theories.

In conclusion, both academic and practical subjects are useful. However, I believe practical subjects are more important. Because they help students in real life situations.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 10

students: 8

practical: 5

these: 5

academic: 4

people: 3

important: 3

skills: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, which meets the main requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. For example, the discussion of academic subjects is brief and could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration. The essay also contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, focus on extending each point with more detailed explanations and examples, and ensure that the language is precise and accurate. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the second paragraph starts with 'If think about it' which is awkward, and the third paragraph contains a run-on sentence. To improve, use more cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to clearly separate the two views, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and repetitive. Words like 'subjects' and 'important' are used frequently. There are some attempts at more sophisticated phrases like 'critical thinking skills' and 'real life activities', but overall the range is narrow. To improve, incorporate a wider variety of synonyms (e.g., 'curriculum', 'disciplines', 'essential', 'vital') and use more precise terms. Also, avoid informal phrasing like 'If think about it' and 'About practical subjects'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Examples include: 'Nowdays' (should be 'Nowadays'), 'students can not enter to university' (should be 'cannot enter university'), 'These skills necessary' (missing verb 'are'), and 'more interesting, because students can learn doing real life activities than only than to reading' (confusing structure). The essay uses mostly simple and compound sentences with limited variety. To improve, practice using a mix of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) and review common grammar points such as subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions.

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