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Band 4+: The line graph shows the number of tourists visiting three countries from 2010 to 2020.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows the number of tourists visiting three countries from 2010 to 2020.

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The image contains a line graph titled "Number of Tourists Visiting Three Countries (2010-2020)", with the vertical axis representing millions of tourists. For Australia, the tourist numbers in millions are: 7.5 in 2010, 8.5 in 2012, 10.5 in 2014, 12.5 in 2016, 15.0 in 2018, and 15.5 in 2020. For the USA, the numbers in millions are: 16.5 in 2010, 19.5 in 2012, 23.0 in 2014, 25.0 in 2016, 21.5 in 2017, 20.5 in 2018, and 18.5 in 2020. For Japan, the numbers in millions are: 10.0 in 2010, 10.0 in 2012, 13.0 in 2014, 15.5 in 2016, 24.0 in 2017, 19.5 in 2018, and 16.5 in 2020.

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The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in three different nations, namely Australia, the USA Japan from 2010 to 2020

It is clear that the percentage of USA in Japan express fluctuation over the period while Australia showed a slight figure . Additionally, USA tourist was the dominant constrated with The number of Australian tourists

Taking first look at USA in Japan the statics start at about 16 and 10 million respectively. USA rapidly Rose into 25 million in the year 2016, while Japan remained for two years before rocketed, overtake the USA number in 2017. Meanwhile, for over 6 to 7 years after the beginning of two countries significantly fell into approximately 16 million.

In contrast, Australia attracted the least visitors reach the bottom of data with a negligible figure. Beginning at 7 millions, this country experienced the sustainable increase from the 2010 to 10 years period which 15, million at the end

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

japan: 4

number: 3

australia: 3

million: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main trends for the three countries. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions in the data, such as misstating the starting figures for the USA and Japan, and incorrectly describing the trends for the USA and Japan after 2017. The report also includes some irrelevant or unclear phrasing (e.g., 'percentage of USA in Japan express fluctuation', 'slight figure'). The structure is present but could be clearer, and the conclusion for Australia is incomplete. To improve, focus on accurately reporting key data points and trends, avoid vague language, and ensure each country's pattern is clearly described with correct figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to structure the information but lacks clear logical progression. The introduction is incomplete, and the overview is confusing and contains inaccuracies. The body paragraphs mix data from different countries without clear separation, making it difficult to follow the trends. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect. To improve, organize the report into clear paragraphs: one for the overview and separate paragraphs for each country or logical grouping of trends. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show contrast and sequence, such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'followed by', etc.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'percentage' instead of 'number', 'statics' instead of 'figures', 'sustainable increase' instead of 'steady increase'). There is an attempt to use some less common words like 'rocketed' and 'fluctuation', but they are not always used accurately. To improve, expand your range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'peaked at', 'declined sharply', 'remained stable'). Ensure that words are used in the correct context and that the meaning is clear.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that significantly hinder understanding. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, subject-verb agreement errors, and incomplete sentences (e.g., 'the statics start at about 16 and 10 million respectively', 'this country experienced the sustainable increase from the 2010 to 10 years period which 15, million at the end'). Punctuation is also problematic. To improve, focus on writing complete sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and appropriate tense usage. Practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences, and ensure that punctuation is used correctly to separate ideas.

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