Pie Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows what Computer Science graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course, The table shows the salaries of the Computer Science graduates working after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows what Computer Science graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course, The table shows the salaries of the Computer Science graduates working after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a pie chart and a table. The pie chart indicates the destination of Computer Science graduates: 67% in full-time work, 12% in part-time work, 7% in postgrad study, 5% unemployed, and 9% not known. The table lists salaries after 5 years’ work by type of employment: In software development - $50,000-$99,999: 3%, $100,000-$149,999: 16%, $150,000-$199,999: 54%, $200,000+: 27%; In business management - $50,000-$99,999: 7%, $100,000-$149,999: 36%, $150,000-$199,999: 45%, $200,000+: 12%; In finance - $50,000-$99,999: 5%, $100,000-$149,999: 12%, $150,000-$199,999: 45%, $200,000+: 38%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The pie chart illustrates what computer science graduates from one university chose to do after finishing their undergraduate degree course while the table shows salaries of computer science graduates after working for 5 years. Overall, a significant number of computer science graduates preferred full time work while an insignificant proportion of those working in business management earned a high salary.

67% of computer science graduates took part in full time employment followed by 12% of them who undertook post gradute study. 9% of the computer science graduates choice was not known. One in 20 computer science graduates worked part time.

Computer science graduates who chose business management received the highest salaries in comparison to software development and finance in salaries ranging from $50,000 to $149,000 at 7% and 36% respectively. Those working in software development under salaries ranging from $150,000 – $99,999 earned the least salaries at 3%. On the other hand, computer science graduates working in finance received the the highest salaries among those earning $200,000 at 38%.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 8

graduates: 8

computer: 7

salaries: 6

working: 4

those: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main features of the chart and table, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the percentage for part-time work is incorrectly stated as 12% (it should be 12% for part-time, but the report says 12% for postgrad study, which is actually 7%). Also, the salary range for software development is misquoted as '$150,000 - $99,999' instead of '$50,000-$99,999'. The report could be improved by accurately reporting all data points and making clearer comparisons between the categories. Additionally, ensure that the overall trend is clearly stated and that all key features are covered without errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for the pie chart and table. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'One in 20 computer science graduates worked part time' is a less direct way to present the data, and the transition between the pie chart and table could be smoother. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'illustrates', 'significant proportion', 'in comparison to'), but there are instances of imprecise or awkward word choices. For example, 'choice was not known' is less natural than 'destination was unknown', and 'received the highest salaries' is repeated. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'earned', 'commanded', 'accounted for') and avoid repetition. Also, ensure that phrases like 'under salaries ranging from' are replaced with more natural expressions such as 'in the salary bracket of'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'post gradute study' is misspelled, 'the the highest salaries' has a repetition error, and 'under salaries ranging from $150,000 - $99,999' is illogical and confusing. Additionally, the sentence 'Those working in software development under salaries ranging from $150,000 - $99,999 earned the least salaries at 3%' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve, proofread carefully for spelling and article errors, and use a wider range of sentence structures with accurate punctuation. Practice forming complex sentences with correct relative clauses and comparisons.

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