Letter

Band 5+: A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to address the merits of sponsoring the supports, concerts as well as how you guys should utilise the money. By sponsoring the local team, Children can get their major equipments which they are really in need nowadays. This includes new shoes, basketball, clothes, bat or bowls. In addition they will have a chance to learn from the expert trainers.

It would be beneficial for players to attend the tournaments. They can show up their talents over there. Morever, By watching the professional players they can learn new techniques, which are essential for them to grow up. So, It will be helpful when they will receive the rewards like cash. They can spend that money for their needs.

I would suggest that you guys should spend the money to sponsor a local team for two years. So, They can adapt new skills. Our city name will be also get popular when the adolescents play on the international levels.

Thanks for your time and concideration.

Jaideep Singh

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the task requirements by discussing the benefits of sponsoring a sports team, summarizing the benefits of concerts (though less explicitly), and stating a preference with justification. To improve, ensure a more balanced discussion of both options and provide more specific details to support your points. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for clearer communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between points are not always smooth, making it slightly difficult to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. For example, use transition words like 'Furthermore,' 'However,' or 'In contrast' to guide the reader through your reasoning. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and lacks the range needed to express ideas with precision. There are instances of informal language ('you guys') which are inappropriate for a formal letter. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic of sponsorship and community benefits. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and more formal alternatives to common words. For example, instead of 'really in need nowadays,' you could say 'currently require' or 'urgently need'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'sponsoring the supports' should be 'sponsoring the sports team,' and 'Children can get their major equipments' should be 'Children can get their major equipment.' To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully for errors. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct article usage. Practicing sentence construction can also help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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