Letter

Band 7+: A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to give my feedback on whether you should spend your allowance on a children’s community sports team or on paying for a concert.

There are several reasons why I believe funding the sports team is beneficial. Firstly, by doing so there will be a higher level of productivity among the children. Hence this could lead to better understanding of the sports as well as better focus on the students education. Secondly, the children may gather funds through the games and use the income to build a snack room for themselves at their local school.

On the other hand, funding the concert is also beneficial. It can let the community experience a significantly higher amount of activities in the year. This can also lead to increasing the funds of the community by generating profits from the tickets sold at the venue.

I strongly suggest you to entirely sponsor the children’s team for two years rather than the open concert.

Kind regards,

Kumar

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

community: 3

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, discussing the benefits of both options and stating a preference. To improve, provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, elaborate on how sponsoring the sports team leads to better focus on education or how the community benefits from increased activities due to the concert. Also, ensure the tone remains consistently formal throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing the benefits of each option, and a conclusion stating your preference. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between productivity and academic focus could be more explicitly stated. Also, the phrase 'higher amount of activities in the year' is vague and could be clarified.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and appropriate for the task. However, there's room for improvement by using more varied and precise language. For instance, instead of 'allowance,' consider using 'budget' or 'funds.' Also, phrases like 'gather funds through the games' could be rephrased for greater impact and clarity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, 'better focus on the students education' could be improved to 'better focus on the students' education.' Also, ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the letter.

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