Letter

Band 7+: A new sports complex in your area is hiring swimming instructors for summer programs. You are a certified lifeguard with previous coaching experience. Write a letter to the hiring manager to apply for the instructor position. In your letter: state the specific position you are applying for; outline your qualifications and why you would be a good fit; mention your preferred working hours during the summer.

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Dear hiring manager,

I am interest in the position as a swimming instructor for summer programs.

I think that I would be the perfect fit for this role: despite my young age, I am a certified lifeguard with past coaching experience in both summer and winter times. I left my last position because my other tasks were incompatibles with the working hours, but if you are interested, I could also send you a letter of recommendation written by my previous manager. Also, I saw in the online announcement that you are looking for an energetic and solar worker to best promote in the area your new company; personally, I think that I am perfectly aligned with these requests.

In the summer, sometimes in the evening I help my father in the family’s business, so I would really appreciate to have the morning hours to perfectly conciliate both activities,

greetings,

Francesco Di Falco.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

summer: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three required points: it states the position, outlines qualifications, and mentions preferred working hours. However, there are some lapses in clarity and formality. For example, the phrase 'I am interest' should be 'I am interested,' and 'incompatibles' should be 'incompatible.' Additionally, the explanation about leaving the last position and the family business could be more concise and professional. To improve, ensure the tone is consistently formal, avoid unnecessary details, and proofread for grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized and easy to follow. The purpose is clearly stated in the opening, and the body paragraphs address the required points. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, the transition from discussing qualifications to the recommendation letter is a bit abrupt. Consider using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' to enhance cohesion. The closing is also abrupt; a more formal sign-off would improve the overall structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate for the task and shows some flexibility (e.g., 'perfect fit', 'certified lifeguard', 'coaching experience', 'energetic and solar worker'). However, there are some awkward and informal choices, such as 'solar worker' (likely meant 'sociable' or 'outgoing') and 'perfectly conciliate' (better: 'balance'). To achieve a higher score, use more precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translations from your native language. Also, vary your word choice to avoid repetition (e.g., 'perfect' used twice).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. There are minor errors that do not impede understanding, such as 'I am interest' (should be 'interested'), 'incompatibles' (should be 'incompatible'), and 'to perfectly conciliate' (should be 'to perfectly balance'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but the final sentence lacks a period. To improve, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word forms. Overall, the grammar is controlled and the errors are infrequent.

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