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Band 7+: A trend graph showing the changes in the owner ship of electrical appliances and hours spent on houseworks

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The image features two graphs detailing the percentage of households with electrical appliances and weekly hours spent on housework from 1920 to 2019. Graph 1 (Percentage of households with electrical appliances): Washing machine: 1920-40%, 1940-60%, 1960-70%, 1980-75%, 2000-74%, 2019-75%; Refrigerator: 1920-0%, 1940-55%, 1960-90%, 1980-100%, 2000-100%, 2019-100%; Vacuum Cleaner: 1920-30%, 1940-50%, 1960-89%, 1980-100%, 2000-100%, 2019-100%. Graph 2 (Number of hours of housework per week, per household): 1920-50, 1940-40, 1960-35, 1980-20, 2000-10, 2019-10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided line charts illustrate the changes in ownership of electrical appliances such as washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaner, and the amount of time spent doing housework from 1920 to 2019.

Overall, all three appliances experienced an upward trend in using them through the end of the period, while there was a steady decrease in the number of hours of housework per week. The most significant increase was for refrigerator usage in households.

In 1920, the washing machine started with 40% of households, which was the highest level of use compared to other appliances in that year; then it approximately doubled in 2019. Similarly, vacuum cleaner increased from 30% to 100% and then leveled off until the end of period. Refrigerator usage was 0% in the 1920, the lowest level of usage, then at sharply increased up to 100 in over the 80 years and then reached the plateau.

Although the number of housework per week per household was started with 50 hours peer week in 1920, it slowly decreased to 10 hours in 2019, which meant that more usage of electrical appliances leads to less housework.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

appliances: 4

housework: 4

usage: 4

hours: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key trends and provides relevant details from the graphs. The overall structure is clear, with a good introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. To improve, consider including more specific data points to support your claims and enhance the analysis. Also, ensure precise language and avoid generalizations to make the report even more impactful.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and ideas are mostly smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are a few instances where the flow could be improved with more precise connecting words or phrases. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition between discussing the washing machine and the vacuum cleaner could be smoother. Consider using phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' to enhance the connection between ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear topic to maintain a strong sense of cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including terms like 'ownership,' 'electrical appliances,' 'upward trend,' 'leveled off,' and 'plateau.' The vocabulary is generally used accurately, but there are opportunities to enhance the sophistication and precision of word choice. For instance, instead of 'using them,' consider 'their adoption' or 'their prevalence.' To further improve, try incorporating more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to trends and changes over time. Also, ensure that collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct, but there are a few errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Refrigerator usage was 0% in the 1920, the lowest level of usage, then at sharply increased up to 100 in over the 80 years and then reached the plateau' contains awkward phrasing and a missing word ('it' after 'then'). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully to eliminate these minor errors will enhance the overall grammatical accuracy.

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