Letter

Band 7+: An online magazine has published an article asking which men and women in the public eye are suitable role models for young people. Write a letter to the magazine recommending a celebrity you consider to be a good role model and why.

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To the online magazine

I read your article offering which celebrities can serve as a role model for adolescents. I would like to exemplify the globally successful singer-songwriter Taylor Swift as a positive example for young people.

Taylor Swift has started her career in her teens and she released her debut album named ‘Tim McGraw’ at the age of only sixteen, which helped her to rose to prominence. She is a very passionate and hard-working musician with an inspirational life story, who has had to deal with many problems and obstacles to reach her goals. At the age of nineteen, Taylor Swift won an award for her the best female video ‘you belong with me’ clip which was her first VMA award. However, while she was giving a speech, Taylor faced an unexpected and highly publicized setback namely her speech was interrupted by Kanye West saying ‘ Beyonce is more worth this award’. Despite this public backlash, she remained determined and continued to achieve her ambitions, because of her single-minded character. In 2021 and 2024, she won Grammy awards for her third and fourth albums, which consequently made her the first and only artist to win Grammy award for four times.

In my view, Taylor swift has a lot of things that inspire humans who are just starting out in life. For example, we can learn from her how we should be determined if we want to achieve our aims, whereby encourage us not to stop if something or someone obstruct or even if we face many public hates and criticisms. Furthermore, we can learn many other lessons also from her experience and dealing with life’s challenges. I am convinced that Taylor can definitely be an inspiring figure and I firmly believe that other people would be of the same opinion.

Muslima Shomurodova, Year 14

Word Count: 305

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

taylor: 5

which: 4

swift: 4

award: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses the task by recommending Taylor Swift as a role model and providing relevant reasons and examples. The response is well-developed, with a clear structure and appropriate tone. There are minor lapses, such as a few grammatical errors and slightly informal phrasing, but these do not detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure grammatical accuracy and refine sentence structures for a more polished presentation.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The progression from introducing Taylor Swift to providing specific examples and then explaining her suitability as a role model is easy to follow. However, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better clarity. For instance, the sentence about the VMA award and the interruption by Kanye West is quite complex and could be split into two. Additionally, the final paragraph could be more concise and focused. Overall, the message is coherent, but there is room for improvement in paragraphing and sentence structure to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'exemplify', 'inspirational', 'single-minded', and 'public backlash'. There are some minor issues with word choice and phrasing, such as 'which helped her to rose to prominence' (should be 'rise') and 'whereby encourage us' (should be 'which encourages us'). The phrase 'a lot of things that inspire humans' could be more precise, e.g., 'many qualities that inspire young people'. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate and mostly accurate, but more sophisticated and precise language would elevate the response.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and some subordinate clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect accuracy. For example, 'which helped her to rose to prominence' should be 'which helped her rise to prominence', and 'for her the best female video' should be 'for her best female video'. Additionally, 'Taylor swift' should be capitalized as 'Taylor Swift', and 'for four times' should be 'four times'. The sentence 'whereby encourage us not to stop if something or someone obstruct' is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased. These errors, while not impeding overall understanding, do detract from the overall accuracy and would benefit from careful proofreading.

Band 7+: An online magazine has published an article asking which men and women in the public eye are suitable role models for young people. Write a letter to the magazine recommending a celebrity you consider to be a good role model and why.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

You have noticed that the public library in your area is not keeping its books and facilities in good condition. Write a letter to the library manager. In your letter, describe the problems you have noticed, explain why they are important, and suggest what the library should do to improve.

You are attending a course at school. Write a letter to the school with a complaint about the course. In your letter, you should: describe the course you are taking; explain what you don't like about the course; give your opinion about what should be done about it.

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