Bar Chart

Band 4+: Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

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The image displays a bar chart comparing the percentage of male vs female executives in six different professions in the UK for 2007: Advertising (Male 55%, Female 45%), Teaching (Male 20%, Female 80%), Construction (Male 90%, Female 10%), Therapists (Male 50%, Female 50%), Journalism (Male 45%, Female 55%), Scientists (Male 70%, Female 30%), Law (Male 60%, Female 40%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph demonstrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in year 2007.

Overall, it can be seen that both professor male and female executives in different professions, but we can seen female executives more in teaching, advertising and therapists.

In the beginning of the chart, the advertising profession has high percentages of female which is around 55 percent where as male has 45 per cent. Also in the teaching profession, female has more percentange which is 90 per cent in comparision to male which is only 10 percent. In Journalism, both male and female have equal percentage of 50 per cent.

However, in year 2007, the percentage of male and female executings were noticeably different in teaching and construction professions. The percentage of male executives in different profession was particularly low in teaching and therapists professions. And in journalism both had same percentage.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

female: 7

percentage: 5

executives: 4

different: 4

profession: 4

teaching: 4

professions: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart but contains inaccuracies and omits key information. The writing is also unclear in places. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing specific figures, and ensuring clarity in your descriptions. Also, avoid repetition and aim for a more structured and comprehensive overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The 'overall' statement is vague and doesn't provide a strong overview. The paragraphs jump between professions without clear transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information effectively. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' 'furthermore') to link ideas and sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive ('percentage,' 'profession,' 'male,' 'female' are overused). There's limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider using 'proportion,' 'share,' or 'representation.' Expand your vocabulary to describe trends and differences more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('we can seen'), subject-verb agreement issues ('female has more percentange'), incorrect word usage ('in comparision'), and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving basic grammar and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

Bar chart illustrating different professions between male and female executives

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