Bar Chart

Band 5+: Bar chart shows the percentage of American students who have used illicit drugs

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The image depicts a bar graph indicating the percentage of American students who have used illicit drugs categorized by gender and across four datelines, 2000, 2005, 2010, and Present. For males, the use in 2000 is approximately 20%, 2005 is 30%, 2010 is around 45%, and Present is nearly 60%. For females, 2000 registers slightly above 10%, 2005 marks just above 20%, 2010 is about 35%, and Present reaches approximately 50%. In the category labeled All, 2000 is about 15%, 2005 records nearly 25%, 2010 is around 40%, and Present is close to 55%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram depicts the proportion of the students in America who have consumed illegal drugs according to their gender.

In general, the chart below can we categorized into two, based on the time when data was collected.

In 2000, the male students contribute the biggest percentage stood at 20% of drugs usage and the female learner’s portion was lower than 10%, recording as the lowest throughout the year. As a result, the average share of both genders accounting for about 12% of total. Nevertheless, there were increases in 2005, for instance, the male’s share had a significant growth into 40%. Furthermore, the female had a big rise into 30% compared to the 2000’s data, resulting to the number 35% approximately for the average.

Moreover, in 2010, the male drugs consume’s percentage was slightly surging into 50%, while the female’s portion rose dramatically to 55%, ended up to 53% approximately as an mean. As well as that, both data increase continuosly until now, for example, the male’s portion showing a number of 60% of drugs usage, whereas the female’s share making up to 57%. Therefore, 59% represents as the mean of total drugs consumption in the present.

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

drugs: 5

portion: 3

share: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends in the data, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trend of increasing drug use over time is correctly identified, and the report attempts to compare male and female percentages. However, some specific figures are incorrect (e.g., male 2005 is stated as 40% instead of 30%, female 2010 is 55% instead of 35%, and the 'All' category is not consistently reported). Additionally, the report lacks a clear overview paragraph that summarizes the key trends, and the language sometimes becomes unclear or awkward (e.g., 'can we categorized', 'drugs consume's percentage'). To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data, providing a clear summary of the main trends, and using more precise and varied vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. The overview is vague and does not clearly highlight the main trends. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to group information by time period or trend. Work on using cohesive devices more naturally to link ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are inaccurate or unnatural (e.g., 'contribute the biggest percentage', 'drugs consume's percentage', 'as an mean'). The report would benefit from more precise and varied language to describe trends (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'peaked at', 'accounted for'). Avoid repetition and use synonyms effectively. Focus on collocation and appropriate register for academic writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, articles, prepositions, and word forms (e.g., 'can we categorized', 'the female learner's portion', 'resulting to', 'ended up to'). Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack complexity. To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread to eliminate basic errors. Punctuation is mostly correct but could be refined.

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