Letter

Band 4+: During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter remind him when and where you met tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job Begin as follows: Dear ... ,

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Dear Sir!

I am writing this letter to you about a job. I need this job. Before I proceed with explaining this situation, I would like to inform you that my friend recommended me for your services. I hope you and your family are living in best spirits. I feel extremely happy to have this opportunity to write a letter to you.

I hope this letter finds you well. I want to write a letter to you because I met you on Aeroplan. and I sat next to you, and you told me about your restaurants.

Apart from the above-mentioned details, I would also like to inform you that I am interested in cashier job. because I am good in maths.

Futhermore, I am prefect candidate your this role because my degree is in finance. And it is relatable for this role.

I hope this letter will be useful to you. If you have any question, please feel free to contact me.

yours sincerely,

Emma Waston.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

letter: 5

because: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant and inappropriate information, detracting from task achievement. The letter includes some information not directly related to the prompt, such as the friend's recommendation and general well-wishes. The letter also lacks specific details about the meeting and the writer's skills. To improve, focus on directly addressing each point in the task instructions with clear and relevant information. Provide specific details about the meeting on the plane, clearly state the desired job, and explain why your skills and experience make you a suitable candidate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, and the flow of ideas is disjointed. The opening paragraph includes irrelevant information and lacks a clear connection to the purpose of the letter. The body paragraphs also suffer from a lack of clear transitions and logical progression. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs, using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas, and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall message.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited range and precision. There are instances of unnatural phrasing and word choices. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more specific terms, and pay attention to the appropriate use of collocations and idiomatic expressions. Also, avoid using overly informal or conversational language in a formal letter. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and comprehension. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, practicing sentence construction, and proofreading carefully for errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a language tutor to identify and correct mistakes.

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