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Band 6+: Given information in table below shows average income, age and population below poverty line

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The image presents a table detailing demographic and financial statistics across three US states. For individuals aged under 18: California at 17%, Utah at 28%, Florida at 16%. For those aged over 60: California at 13%, Utah at 11%, Florida at 23%. Average income per person is listed as: California $23,000, Utah $17,000, Florida $22,000. Population below poverty line figures are: California 16%, Utah 9%, Florida 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table provides evidence on people’s age, their average income and population below poverty line in California, Utah, and Florida.

Overall, California and Utah have similar figures for age groups, while average incomes and the number of empovered people differ significantly. Florida, on the other hand, reported opposite results for age division, and showed average results for money earned and people being under poverty.

California having their percentage of ages in between for both groups of ages holds the highest sallary of 23,000 per person. In addition, California reported the figure for population under poverty line at 16%, being the largest among the states. Meanwhile, in Utah there is the greatest percentage of people aged under 18 and the least of people aged over 60, 28% and 8% respectively. However, the average income here is only 17,000.

Florida, has the opposite figures for age groups, having 16% for people aged below 18 and 23% for those aged over 60. The number of people who lives below poverty line is average here, accounting for 12%.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

average: 5

below: 3

poverty: 3

california: 3

groups: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the key information from the table. The overview is acceptable, and the main features are generally identified. However, there's room for improvement in terms of data accuracy and clarity. For instance, the report mentions 'California and Utah have similar figures for age groups,' which isn't entirely accurate. Also, the report could benefit from more precise language and a stronger focus on comparing and contrasting the data. To improve, ensure all data references are accurate and consider using more comparative language to highlight the differences and similarities between the states.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions and connections between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and paragraphs. For example, when transitioning between states, explicitly state the comparison being made. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to group similar data points more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, 'empovered people' is not the correct term; 'people living in poverty' or 'impoverished people' would be more appropriate. Similarly, 'sallary' should be 'salary'. Expanding your vocabulary related to demographic and economic data would enhance the report. Focus on using synonyms and varied phrasing to describe similar data points.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are present and impact clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('California having'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'California having their percentage of ages in between for both groups of ages holds the highest sallary of 23,000 per person' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Proofread carefully for errors in grammar and sentence structure. Focus on using correct verb forms, articles, and prepositions.

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Band 6+: Given information in table below shows average income, age and population below poverty line

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Given information in table below shows average income, age and population below poverty line

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