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Band 4+: Main reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phone between 2016-2019

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The image depicts four pie charts illustrating reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phones over four years: 2016 to 2019. In 2016, reasons are social networks 10%, email 15%, digital camera 25%, phone calls 50%. In 2017, social networks 13%, email 19%, digital camera 20%, phone calls 48%. In 2018, social networks 11%, email 20%, digital camera 18%, phone calls 51%. In 2019, social networks 13%, email 21%, digital camera 16%, phone calls 50%.

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The bar chart illustrates the major cause for teenagers in one African country their smartphones during the 2016 to 2019

The main cause for using a phone was and remains social networks. In 2016 it was 50 percentage however it declined to 48 percentage in 2017. Meanwhile In 2018, the percentage of phone use for social media increased to 51.The percentage gradually increased to 56 in 2019

On other hand teenagers use phones for writing emails too But the percentage of smartphone use had gradually decreased every year to 19 percent in 2019 begin with 25 in 2016

Teenagers used the phone the least for making calls, as in 2016 the percentage was 10. However in 2017 it increased to 13 percent. But then it gradually decreased to 11 percent. In 2019 it dramatically reduces to 3 percent

Meanwhile using digital camera percentage was 15 in 2016 and remained same in 2017. Percent started to rise in 2018 to 2019,it grew to 18 percent in 2018 and 20 percent in 2019

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

percent: 6

phone: 3

increased: 3

gradually: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data presented in the pie charts. The description of trends and values is often incorrect, leading to a distorted representation of the information. The report needs to accurately reflect the data provided in the charts and avoid misrepresenting the trends and values. Focus on correctly identifying and reporting the key features and changes over time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information is not presented in a cohesive manner, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons across the years. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate different aspects of the data. Use discourse markers to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and sophistication. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' try 'proportion' or 'share.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to convey information more effectively. For example, pay attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles.

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Band 4+: Main reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phone between 2016-2019

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Main reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phone between 2016-2019

Main reasons for teenagers in one African country using their phone between 2016-2019

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