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Band 7+: Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

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The image depicts a bar chart titled "Number of discontinued university enrolments for every 1,000 students (2015)" with three categories: Business, Medicine, Education. In the Business category: Australia approximately 1.5, UK just under 2, Canada approximately 2, US around 5. In the Medicine category: Australia approximately 1, UK around 1.5, Canada slightly over 0.5, US near 2. In the Education category: Australia approaching 3, UK around 1.5, Canada just above 3, US approximately 5.5. The bars are patterned distinctly for each country without specifying numerical values beyond visual estimates.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates how many students drop out of university for every 1,000 students among three sectors across four countries in the year of 2015.

Overall, while education recorded the highest rates of discontinued enrollments in most countries, with the exception of Canada, medicine experienced the lowest dropout rates except in the UK. In addition, the number of dropouts for the medicine and business sectors in the US was almost identical.

Canada had the highest number of discontinued students in the education sector, at 5.5 per 1000 students, far exceeding the figures for the medicine and business sectors, at 1.8 and 3.2 respectively. The US was the second major contributor, with 5 per 1000 students choosing dismissal. The number of dropout students for the medicine and business categories in the UK was the same, at 2 per 1000 students.

Turning to the UK, the medicine sector was the dominant field, at 4.3 per 1000 students giving up academic pursuit. The figures for the education and business sectors in the UK were lower than that for the medicine sector, at 2.8 and 2.5 respectively. In contrast, approximately 4.3 per 1000 students in Australia dropped out of university for the education sector, almost prevalent that for the business sector. The number of dropout students for the medicine sector was nearly half of that for the two remaining sectors, at 2.5 per 1000 students.

Word Count: 232

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 10

medicine: 7

sector: 6

sectors: 5

business: 5

education: 4

number: 4

dropout: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overall structure, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies with the visual data. For example, it states that Canada had the highest education dropout rate at 5.5, but the visual description indicates Canada's education rate is just above 3, while the US is around 5.5. Additionally, the report mentions that the UK medicine sector was dominant at 4.3, but the visual description shows UK medicine around 1.5. These inaccuracies detract from the task achievement. The report also omits some key data points, such as the specific values for Australia's business and medicine sectors, and misinterprets the overall trends. To improve, ensure that all data is accurately reported and that the summary accurately reflects the main trends shown in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas could be improved. The second paragraph discusses Canada and the US, while the third paragraph focuses on the UK and Australia, but the transition between these paragraphs is abrupt. Consider using clearer linking phrases to guide the reader through the comparison. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'discontinued enrollments,' 'dropout rates,' and 'academic pursuit.' However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'choosing dismissal' (which is not idiomatic) and 'almost prevalent that for the business sector' (which is unclear). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translations. Also, vary the language used to describe data (e.g., 'approximately,' 'just under,' 'slightly over') to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and complex sentences. However, there are a few minor errors and awkward constructions, such as 'at 5.5 per 1000 students' (should be 'per 1,000 students' for consistency) and 'almost prevalent that for the business sector' (which is grammatically incorrect). The overall accuracy is high, but to achieve a higher band, ensure that all sentences are error-free and that structures are used with full flexibility. Pay attention to prepositions and article usage.

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Band 7+: Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

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Answers On The Same Topic:

Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

Number of discontinued university enrollments for every 1000 students (2015)

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