Pie Chart

Band 5+: Pie chart: The chart shows the reasons why people moved from one part of Vietnam to live in another. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathers, and make comparisons where relevant. Here are the data for each reasons why Vietnamese people moved internally in 2012 (in percentages). Employment (54.5%); Study (11.4%); Marriage (21%); Others (13.1%)

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Image for topic: Pie chart: The chart shows the reasons why people moved from one part of Vietnam to live in another. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathers, and make comparisons where relevant. Here are the data for each reasons why Vietnamese people moved internally in 2012 (in percentages). Employment (54.5%); Study (11.4%); Marriage (21%); Others (13.1%)

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The image contains a pie chart showing the reasons for internal migration in Vietnam in 2012, with employment accounting for 54.5%, study 11.4%, marriage 21.0%, and others 13.1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates main factors that resulted in the population moving within Vietnam in 2012.

Overall, there were 3 main reasons that contributed to the residential relocation decision within the country. It can be observed that employment factor accounted for the most significant proportion of reasons that Vietnamese relocated their place of living, while the least popular factor was due to the study purpose.

According to the chart, more than half of internal relocating reasons was attributed to the employment factor standing at 54.5% in 2012. Marrriage factor which represented for more than one fifth of main reasons for moving was the second common reason. The number of people changed their place of living for studying purpose and that of residents moved for other purposes shared nearly the same proportion with the education factor took the lead of 2% higher. Together, these 2 reasons accounted for almost a quarter of deciding factors that people moved within the nation, while study purpose was responsible for more than one tenth of the key reasons, other purposes formed about 13%.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

reasons: 6

factor: 5

within: 3

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Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and providing a clear overview of the data. The comparison between the different categories is well-handled, particularly the grouping of 'study' and 'others'. To improve, ensure more consistent grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'reasons... was' should be 'reasons... were') and more natural phrasing in the data description. Overall, the response is comprehensive and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to specific details. However, the progression within the final paragraph is somewhat repetitive and cluttered. To improve, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and avoid repeating the same sentence structures (e.g., 'the factor was...', 'the reason was...'). Ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next to avoid a 'choppy' feel.

Lexical Resource

You have attempted to use a range of vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., 'residential relocation', 'internal relocating', 'deciding factors'). However, some word choices are slightly unnatural or awkward, such as 'employment factor' or 'the number of people changed their place of living'. Instead of focusing on the 'number of people' (which the chart does not provide, only percentages), focus on the 'proportion' or 'percentage'. Aim for more natural collocations like 'driven by employment' or 'motivated by study'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical issues that impact the clarity of the report. Specifically, there are errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'reasons... was attributed') and awkward phrasing in complex sentences (e.g., 'with the education factor took the lead of 2% higher'). You should practice using relative clauses more accurately and ensure that your comparison structures (e.g., 'higher than', 'compared to') are grammatically sound. Pay close attention to the use of articles and prepositions to improve overall precision.

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