Pie Chart

Band 6+: Pie chart: The chart shows the reasons why people moved from one part of Vietnam to live in another. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathers, and make comparisons where relevant. Here are the data for each reasons why Vietnamese people moved internally in 2012 (in percentages). Employment (54.5%); Study (11.4%); Marriage (21%); Others (13.1%)

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Image for topic: Pie chart: The chart shows the reasons why people moved from one part of Vietnam to live in another. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathers, and make comparisons where relevant. Here are the data for each reasons why Vietnamese people moved internally in 2012 (in percentages). Employment (54.5%); Study (11.4%); Marriage (21%); Others (13.1%)

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The image contains a pie chart showing the reasons for internal migration in Vietnam in 2012, with employment accounting for 54.5%, study 11.4%, marriage 21.0%, and others 13.1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates four reasons why individuals moved from one area of Vietnam to another for living in 2012.

Overall, there were presented four reasons why people decided to change their accomidation and move from one city to another in the given country, so there were included career, education, relationship and others. Eventually, the most sagnificant cause were job prospectives, while study accounted for the smallest proportion.

In 2012, around a half of Vietnamese citizens moved from one part of the country to live in another due to a lack of workplaces in the given period. Likewise, another crucial reason was marriage, accounted for exactly 21% of the total population, while unknown causes encouraged about 13% to change their living. Finally, only about 11% of people moved due to their educational goals in that year. This data showed the biggest problem of job opportunities among Vietnamese citizens,compared to other reasons.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

another: 4

reasons: 3

moved: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying and reporting all the key categories provided in the data. The overview is clear and highlights the most significant and least significant trends. The body paragraphs organize the information logically, making comparisons between the different reasons for migration. To improve, ensure that the interpretation of data remains strictly descriptive; for example, stating that employment was due to a 'lack of workplaces' or a 'problem of job opportunities' introduces an inference/opinion that is not explicitly stated in the chart. Stick to reporting the data as presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. The use of 'Eventually' in the overview is incorrect; 'Overall' or 'In summary' would be more appropriate. Additionally, the connection between the final sentence and the rest of the paragraph feels slightly abrupt. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'In contrast' or 'Furthermore') to link sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate to convey the message, but there are several spelling and word choice errors (e.g., 'accomidation', 'sagnificant', 'prospectives'). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'change their living' or 'lack of workplaces'. Try to use more precise academic synonyms. For example, instead of 'job prospectives', use 'employment opportunities', and instead of 'unknown causes', use 'other factors'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical issues that affect the flow of the report. For instance, 'there were presented four reasons' and 'there were included' are awkward constructions; it is better to use 'four reasons were presented' or 'the chart includes four reasons'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the most sagnificant cause were') and participle usage (e.g., 'marriage, accounted for' should be 'marriage, which accounted for'). Aim for more variety in complex sentence structures while ensuring subject-verb agreement is maintained.

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