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Band 6+: Summarise information by selecting reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image depicts two plans of a health center: Plan A from 2005 includes physiotherapy room, garden, office, reception desk, consultation rooms CR1-CR3, entrance, 12 car parking spaces; Plan B at present features physiotherapy room, minor operations room, garden, office, consultation rooms CR1-CR4, entrance, 30 car parking spaces, and expanded reception area.

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The map above shows a change in healthcare centre from 2005 to the present day. The health centre has had a significant renovation done in the passed years. This essay is the summary of the major changes of the building.

In 2005, the parking lot has 12 available spaces however, in the present day they had increased to 20 spaces. Morever, they had renovate the interior of the building. In present day, they added a new section called Minor operations room, the CRs are also readjusted as seen in the plan A and the present day plan. There is one more CR and they had made the office smaller. Addtionally to utilise the space, the centre had moved the reception table to the entrance which is now on the left side of building. They also added a children’s play area infront of the reception desk.

All in all, the main changes are the new operation room, addition of CR, and a new children zone. There is also some minor changes in the entrance and the reception table along with the parking lot

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

present: 4

centre: 3

changes: 3

reception: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main changes to the health center, but there are some omissions and inaccuracies. For example, the parking space increase is misstated (it goes from 12 to 30, not 20). The description of the reception area changes could be more precise. To improve, ensure all data is accurate and provide a more comprehensive overview of all significant changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is present but lacks a clear overview of the changes. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. For example, the transition between the parking lot discussion and the interior renovation could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical progression of information. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to group related changes more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of saying 'renovate the interior,' you could use more specific terms like 'reconfigured the layout' or 'expanded the facilities.' There are also some instances of less formal language (e.g., 'had a significant renovation done') that could be replaced with more academic phrasing. Overall, aim for greater precision and sophistication in your vocabulary to better convey the information. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('they had renovate'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Addtionally to utilise the space' is grammatically incorrect and could be rephrased as 'Additionally, to utilize the space.' While the overall meaning is generally understandable, these errors detract from the report's credibility. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading and targeted practice. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your writing is clear and concise.

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