Bar Chart

Band 5+: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Drinking habits by age

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Image for topic: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Drinking habits by age

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The image shows a vertical bar graph depicting drinking habits by age in the US, categorized into Heavy Drinker, Light Drinker, Ex-Drinker, and Never Drinker. For ages 16-24: 10% Heavy, 20% Light, 15% Ex, 55% Never. Ages 25-34: 13% Heavy, 25% Light, 20% Ex, 42% Never. Ages 35-44: 10% Heavy, 20% Light, 20% Ex, 50% Never. Ages 45-54: 8% Heavy, 20% Light, 22% Ex, 50% Never. Ages 55-64: 10% Heavy, 25% Light, 25% Ex, 40% Never. Ages 65-74: 8% Heavy, 22% Light, 28% Ex, 42% Never.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the drinking habits by aged of the US (namely, heavy drinker, light drinker, ex-drinker, never drinker) between 16 and 74 age.

Overall, it is clear that only ex-drinker increased considerably over the entire period. Meanwhile, all drinkers decreased modestly. Excessive drinker is the smallest percentage of drinking habits by age in US.

Former drinker stood at 10% by 16-25 age. After that, Former drinker fluctuated until 55-64 age and reached 35%. Then, ex-drinker increased steadily by the end of the period also attained at 45% by 65-74 age. Meanwhile, light drinker became at 25% aged 16-24. Subsequently, moderate drinker fluctuated up to 45-54 age moreover reached 20%.

Afterward, moderate drinker decreased gradually by the end of the period also finished at 10% by 65-74 age.

Never drinker started at 60% by 16-24 age. After that, by 35-44 age teetotaller fluctuated until 55-64 age and achieved 55%. Afterward, teetotaller decreased moderately also ended at 45% by 65-74 age. Whereas, heavy drinker stood at 5% by 16-24 age. Following this, regular drinker increased gradually until 15% by 45-54 age. After that, excessive drinker declined modestly also achieved about at 2-4% by 65-74 age.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

drinker: 12

65-74: 4

ex-drinker: 3

increased: 3

period: 3

decreased: 3

after: 3

fluctuated: 3

until: 3

16-24: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main features of the chart and making some comparisons. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., ex-drinker at 35% and 45%, never drinker at 60% and 55%, heavy drinker at 5% and 15%) and some inconsistencies in terminology (e.g., 'ex-drinker' vs 'former drinker', 'light drinker' vs 'moderate drinker', 'never drinker' vs 'teetotaller', 'heavy drinker' vs 'regular drinker' and 'excessive drinker'). The overall trend is identified, but the specific figures are often incorrect, which detracts from the task achievement. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and consistent use of categories. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'fluctuated' without clear reference to the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and separate paragraphs for each category, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'After that', 'Meanwhile', 'Afterward' are used repetitively and not always logically). The progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother, and the conclusion is missing. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with logical development.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'illustrates', 'fluctuated', 'increased steadily', 'declined modestly'), but there are several inaccuracies and repetitions. Terms like 'ex-drinker' and 'former drinker' are used interchangeably, and 'moderate drinker' and 'regular drinker' are used instead of 'light drinker' and 'heavy drinker', which may cause confusion. The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are unnatural (e.g., 'by aged of the US', 'drinking habits by age in US'). To improve, use precise and consistent terminology, and expand your range of descriptive language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that significantly affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, prepositions, articles, and word forms (e.g., 'by aged', 'became at 25%', 'also attained at 45%'). Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack variety. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect use of periods. To improve, focus on sentence structure variety, ensure grammatical accuracy, and proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors.

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