Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism-related industry in one UK city between 1989 and 2009.

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The image contains a bar chart illustrating the number of jobs across four sectors for five specified years. In 1989, the job numbers were: Restaurants 1100, Hotels 1050, Sport and leisure 900, and Travel and tour 800. For the year 1994, the figures were: Restaurants 1280, Hotels 1400, Sport and leisure 700, and Travel and tour 1050. In 1999, the data was: Restaurants 1400, Hotels 1220, Sport and leisure 1050, and Travel and tour 900. For 2004, the values were: Restaurants 1600, Hotels 1080, Sport and leisure 900, and Travel and tour 700. Finally, in 2009, the job numbers were: Restaurants 1280, Hotels 1050, Sport and leisure 700, and Travel and tour 400.

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The bar chart delineates the information about four types of jobs in the travel sectors in one UK city from 1989 to 2009

Considering from an overall perspective, it can be comprehensively observed that the all tourism related jobs were fluctuated over the period. While, restaurant recorded the highest numbers of jobs in tourism industry.

To commence with, analysing the restaurants numbers of jobs reached a peak of around 1500 in 2004. While, in 2009 the numbers of job in restaurants was declined in 2009 at around 1300 which was made up the highest demanded job in tourism industry. In addition, in 1994 hotels recorded the biggest numbers of jobs In tourist sectors which was decreased over the period at 1500 in 2009.

The numbers of job in travel and tours surpassed the hotels jobs in 1994 which was gradually decreased over the period from 1999 to 2004 former had at 850 and latter had only at only 410 which was least demanded job in tourism related industry. Notably, the sports and tours numbers of jobs fluctuated over the period from 800 to 600 between 1989 to 2009.

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

numbers: 6

tourism: 4

period: 4

which: 4

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Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the sectors, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the peak for restaurants is stated as 'around 1500' instead of 1600, and the decline in 2009 is noted as 'around 1300' instead of 1280. The description of hotels is vague and includes an incorrect figure ('1500 in 2009' instead of 1050). The data for travel and tours is also misrepresented, and the final sentence about sports and tours is unclear and contains inaccurate figures. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately reported and clearly organized, and avoid vague or confusing statements. Focus on presenting the main trends and comparisons with precise figures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, phrases like 'former had at 850 and latter had only at only 410' are confusing and lack clear antecedents. The paragraphing is not consistently managed, and some ideas are presented in a disjointed manner. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear set of data or trend, and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'while') more effectively to link sentences and ideas. Also, avoid repeating the same information in different sections.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'reached a peak', 'declined', 'surpassed'), but there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'delineates the information' is overly formal, and 'the all tourism related jobs' is ungrammatical. The phrase 'made up the highest demanded job' is not natural, and 'sports and tours' is a mislabeling of the sector. To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary (e.g., 'experienced a steady increase', 'witnessed a significant drop') and ensure collocations are correct (e.g., 'the highest number of jobs'). Avoid informal or incorrect expressions and maintain a formal academic tone throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include 'the all tourism related jobs were fluctuated' (incorrect passive), 'the numbers of job in restaurants was declined' (incorrect verb form), and 'which was decreased over the period at 1500 in 2009' (confusing and incorrect). There are also missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of tenses (past simple for specific years), and proper use of articles. Practice writing more complex sentences with accurate subordinate clauses, and proofread to eliminate basic errors. A wider range of structures, such as conditionals or comparative forms, would also enhance grammatical range.

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