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Band 5+: Summarize the information by and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows two pie charts detailing the percentage of students enrolled in different courses. In 1985, percentages are: Music appreciation 5%, Local history 10%, Modern languages 20%, IT 0%, Cookery 12%, Fitness and dance 22%, Art 15%. For the current year, the percentages are: Music appreciation 8%, Local history 5%, Modern languages 15%, IT 27%, Cookery 19%, Fitness and dance 17%, Art 9%.

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The chart illustrates the percentage of students on mature individual centre taking various courses offered in 1985 and this year.

Overall, the course of fitness and dance haven’t changed since 1985 and still remains the same. Nowadays we have an IT courses and most of the students like this course, therefore IT courses have been developing and 27% of the students had chosen these courses. Since 1985 the modern languages have been decreased for 7% and it is the most decreased courses this year. In addition, nowadays courses like local history and music appreciation have been removed from various courses and instead of these courses we have an IT course.

In conclusion, the IT courses have been developing with an incredible speed and removed some of the courses, also some courses have been decreased since 1985 and a little of them have been increased and one of them didn’t even change since 1985

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

courses: 11

since: 4

students: 3

decreased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends and makes a few comparisons, but it contains inaccuracies and generalizations. The structure is somewhat unclear, and the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing specific figures, and organizing the information more logically. Avoid generalizations and ensure that all statements are supported by the data in the charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the flow. For example, the shift from overall trends to specific course changes feels abrupt. Consider using transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information and to highlight comparisons more effectively. Paragraphing could also be improved by grouping related ideas together more logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the data. There is some repetition of words like 'courses' and 'decreased'. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, changes, and proportions. For instance, instead of 'decreased,' you could use 'declined,' 'diminished,' or 'reduced.' Also, aim for more specific language when describing the magnitude of changes (e.g., 'a significant increase' instead of 'developing with an incredible speed').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('haven't changed' instead of 'has not changed'), subject-verb agreement issues ('languages have been decreased'), and incorrect use of articles ('an IT courses'). Sentence structure is also quite simple, limiting the ability to express complex relationships between the data. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practice using a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to convey information more effectively.

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