Bar Chart

Band 4+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the key features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image depicts a bar chart showing the number of adults participating in major sports in 1997 and 2017, measured in thousands. Tennis participants numbered 50,000 in 1997 and decreased to approximately 35,000 in 2017. Basketball saw a slight increase from roughly 9,000 in 1997 to around 10,000 in 2017. Cricket participants slightly rose from approximately 16,000 in 1997 to around 17,000 in 2017. Golf remained stable, with about 23,000 participants in both years. Swimming showed a significant increase from roughly 19,000 in 1997 to about 32,000 in 2017. Football participants decreased from approximately 39,000 in 1997 to around 35,000 in 2017. Rugby showed a decline from about 22,000 participants in 1997 to around 9,000 in 2017.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustratues how many adults participating in different major sports in one region, between 1997 and 2017. Overall, participation in most sports increased over the 20-year period. Tennis remained the most popular sport in both years, whereas cricket was the only sport that decreased in popularity. Meanwhile, swimming showed almost unchanged.

Tennis recorded the highest number of participants in both years. It reached 50 thousand participants in 1997 to about 55 thousand participants in 2017. Basketball also experienced an increase from 10 thousand to about 20 thousand participants. Likewise, football showed an increased from 30 thousand to about 50 thousand participants and rugby showed increase significantly 33 thousand to 49 thousand participants. Meanwhile, golf showed slightly increase from 31 thousand participants to 33 thousand participants

The Swimming participants remained stable around 35 thousand participants in 1997 and 2017. In contrast, cricket was the only sport that fell down significantly from 25 thousand participants to below 10 thousand participants.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousand: 13

participants: 11

showed: 4

sport: 3

about: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies regarding the data trends and values provided in the visual description. There are major contradictions between the overview and the body paragraphs; for example, the overview states most sports increased, but the body paragraphs provide figures that do not align with the provided data (e.g., reporting increases for football and rugby when the data indicates decreases). Additionally, the overview claims cricket was the only sport to decrease, while the body paragraph claims swimming was unchanged, creating internal inconsistency. To improve, ensure that every data point mentioned is accurately reflected from the visual information and that the overview provides a truthful summary of the trends described in the body.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by contradictions between the overview and the body paragraphs. For instance, the overview states that most sports increased, but then makes claims about cricket and swimming that are not consistently supported or are contradicted later in the text. To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the trends described in your body paragraphs. Additionally, use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link sentences more smoothly rather than relying heavily on 'Meanwhile' and 'In contrast'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and contains several errors in word formation (e.g., 'showed an increased', 'showed slightly increase', 'showed increase significantly'). There is also a lack of precision in describing trends. To improve, focus on using correct noun and verb forms for describing changes (e.g., 'showed a significant increase' instead of 'showed increase significantly') and try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'show' and 'increase/decrease'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with sentence structure (e.g., 'how many adults participating'), subject-verb agreement, and the use of prepositions (e.g., 'reached 50 thousand... to about 55 thousand'). There are also errors in tense and article usage. To improve, practice constructing complex sentences using relative clauses and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent with the time periods being discussed (past tense for 1997 and 2017).

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