Bar Chart

Band 6+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons.

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The image displays mobile phone platform shares across five countries: UK (iOS 40%, Android 51.5%, Windows 7.5%), USA (iOS 43%, Android 52%, Windows 4%), Germany (iOS 18%, Android 71%, Windows 9%), China (iOS 25%, Android 73%, Windows 1%), Brazil (iOS 4%, Android 91%, Windows 5%).

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The bar chart illustrates the evolution of the percentages of mobile phone plateform share in different countries, namely the United Kingdom, the United States, Germany, China and Brazil. Overall, Android shares are the most detained in each countries, while the percentages of iOS and Windows change according to the country.

First whatever the country is, the percentage of Android shares outpasses all of the other mobil phone plateform. Indeed Android shares represent from 51.5% up to 91% in Brazil of mobile phone plateform share.

While Android shares are always the most represented the order of repartition of iOS and Windows shares depends of the country. Generally Windows shares seems to be less present than iOS ones, as in almost every country except Brazil, the percentage of Windows shares is less than the half of iOS shares.

To conclude the percentage of Android shares is dramatically higher than all other mobile phone shares and Windows shares seems to be the second most represented shares except in Brazil.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shares: 11

android: 5

windows: 5

phone: 4

brazil: 4

mobile: 3

plateform: 3

country: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the data and makes some comparisons, satisfying the requirements of the task. However, there are some areas for improvement. The organization is generally clear, but the final paragraph could be more concise and impactful. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points to support your generalizations and ensure that all key trends are addressed. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. The conclusion could be more concise and directly summarize the main points without introducing new information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'shares,' try incorporating synonyms like 'market presence,' 'proportion,' or 'percentage.' Also, be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'platform' instead of 'plateform'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the' before 'United Kingdom'), and correct spelling. Sentence structure is generally simple; try incorporating more complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures. Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch many of these errors.

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