Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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Image for topic: The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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The image displays a bar chart showing the number of skilled migrants to Australia from 2009-2012 in thousands: Accountants: 2009 (18), 2010 (20), 2011 (22), 2012 (26); Cooks: 2009 (9), 2010 (10), 2011 (12), 2012 (15); Software Engineers: 2009 (11), 2010 (12), 2011 (12), 2012 (14); Computer Programmers: 2009 (2), 2010 (3), 2011 (3), 2012 (5).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustrates data about number of workers in different fields, who migrated to Australia from 2009 to 2012.

Overall, it is clear that the number of accountants who moved to Australia was the highest in all years. Likewise, computer programmers recorded lowest figures. Chefs and software engineers experienced fluctuation.

In 2009, 20,000 accountants were in Australia. However in next year this rate rose significantly to about 27,000, which was the largest proportion during the period. But when it comes to computer programmers they started with 15,000 and saw a little grown by reaching 2,000. In 2012, this figure went up to 5,000 before decreasing again to 1,500. Also the number of accountants declined slightly from 27,000 to 21,000 in the end of the period.

According to the chart, the number of engineers began with 19,000 and rose steeply to 21,000 by 2011 before, it declined rapidly to 16,000. In addition, chefs also saw fluctuation. In 2009 and 2011, this proportion saw slight increases but in end of the period this rate felt to 16,000.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 4

australia: 3

accountants: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant inaccuracies in data reporting that obscure the overall trends. While the overview correctly identifies the highest and lowest categories, the body paragraphs contain figures that contradict the provided visual description (for example, stating accountants started at 20,000 when the data suggests 18,000, or reporting computer programmer figures that do not align with the scale). Additionally, there is confusion regarding the direction of trends, such as describing a rise as a decrease. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the numbers from the chart and ensuring that the descriptions of movement (increase/decrease) match the actual data points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is often confusing. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes inappropriate or used incorrectly (e.g., using 'However' or 'But' to start sentences that do not present a direct contrast to the previous thought). Furthermore, the organization of data within paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends of specific occupations. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that transitions between sentences logically connect the data being presented.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices or awkward phrasing, such as 'saw a little grown' instead of 'saw a slight increase' or 'this rate felt to' instead of 'this rate fell to'. Additionally, the report uses 'proportion' and 'rate' incorrectly; these terms refer to percentages or speeds, whereas the chart provides absolute numbers (counts of workers). Aim to use a wider variety of precise verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained steady'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'in next year', 'in end of the period'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Some sentences are fragmented or contain comma splices. There is also a lack of control over tense and prepositional usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that complex sentences are joined correctly with appropriate subordinating conjunctions.

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Band 4+: The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers on different occupatios who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

Other Topics:

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