Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants

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The image presents a bar chart for an adult education centre in 2009 and a pie chart. The bar chart shows attendance for four courses: Drama, with 10 men and 20 women; Painting, with 25 men and 30 women; Sculpture, with 10 men and 5 women; and Language, with 20 men and 40 women. The pie chart details the ages of course participants: Aged under 20 is 5%, 20-29 is 11%, 30-39 is 16%, 40-49 is 26%, and 50 or over is 42%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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There is evening courses for adults in 2009. You can choose variety of artistic activities, from drama to language. Variety of age of participants were different but most of them were under the age of 50 or over than that. One quarter of people are 40 to 49 years old. Yellow marked quadrant is 30-39 years old. Half quarter of all contained younger people age of 20-29. Only five percent were underage.

In the drama learning percentage of women were twice as much as men. In painting difference of sex was not that much, but women were little more interested. Sculpture was not popular in general and men were twice as hard interested as women. Language was the most popular course at that time. It was big group of women and only half men learning languages.

By need it’s classified from sculpture, drama, painting and Language.

Word Count: 146

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

drama: 3

language: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and lacks detail. The description of the bar chart is somewhat accurate but lacks specific data. The pie chart description is confusing and uses imprecise language. The organization is present but could be improved with a clearer structure. To improve, focus on providing accurate data from both charts, using precise language, and organizing the information into clear paragraphs with an overview and specific details. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the information presented in the charts. Consider grouping information by chart type (bar chart then pie chart) and using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('Variety of age', 'Half quarter'). Aim to use more specific and varied vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'proportion', 'majority', 'minority', and 'significant difference'. Avoid informal language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('There is evening courses'), subject-verb agreement issues ('Variety of age of participants were different'), and incorrect use of articles ('the drama learning'). Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures to express ideas more effectively.

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